建設(shè)性批評被當(dāng)作耳旁風(fēng)怎么辦
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????假如他的長期目標(biāo)只是繼續(xù)目前的工作。那就找出他內(nèi)心的真實(shí)想法。雷諾茲稱自己曾有一位客戶，她的上司抱怨她是一個(gè)傲慢自大、自詡為萬事通的團(tuán)隊(duì)領(lǐng)導(dǎo)人，與你的那位下屬一樣。雷諾茲說道：“我問她為什么對團(tuán)隊(duì)其他人有如此高的優(yōu)越感，她回答說，因?yàn)槠渌硕疾幌袼菢雨P(guān)心能否實(shí)現(xiàn)卓越。但她也表示，自己之所以重視當(dāng)前的職位，一個(gè)重要原因是，成為其他人眼中優(yōu)秀的團(tuán)隊(duì)領(lǐng)導(dǎo)者，對她具有重要意義。” ????雷諾茲讓她相信，她在別人眼中并不是優(yōu)秀的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)者，因?yàn)椤皟?yōu)秀的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)者善于傾聽。當(dāng)她開始真心傾聽其他人的意見時(shí)，她才發(fā)現(xiàn)，其他團(tuán)隊(duì)成員根本不是她想象的那么愚蠢。當(dāng)然，她之所以能夠改變自己的行為，唯一的原因是這符合她自己的需要，與其他人的需求無關(guān)。” ????只要提出足夠多的合適問題，你或許會(huì)得到驚喜。例如，你可能會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)，這個(gè)人根本不愿意領(lǐng)導(dǎo)一支團(tuán)隊(duì)。雷諾茲表示：“或許，他認(rèn)為領(lǐng)導(dǎo)團(tuán)隊(duì)拖累了自己。或許他之所以對其他人的建議缺乏耐心，是因?yàn)樽约翰坏貌豢紤]這些建議，而這給他造成了干擾。如果是這樣，讓他單槍匹馬才是合理的決定，將他的那些了不起的想法交給其他人來執(zhí)行。” ????當(dāng)然，在詢問前誰也不知道會(huì)得到怎樣的答案。雷諾茲說道：“只有在人們真正想改變的時(shí)候，他們才會(huì)做出改變。而實(shí)現(xiàn)他們自己的目標(biāo)——而不是你的目標(biāo)——永遠(yuǎn)是最好的理由。”所以，她補(bǔ)充道，弄清他的目標(biāo)是“一種常識”，但“它并不是人們的習(xí)慣做法。”祝你好運(yùn)。 ????反饋：你是否曾說服同事改變自己的行為？哪些方法有效（或無效）？歡迎評論。（財(cái)富中文網(wǎng)） ????譯者：劉進(jìn)龍/汪皓 |
????Suppose his long-term goal is simply to keep doing what he’s doing. Find out why. Reynolds says she coached one client whose boss complained she was an arrogant know-it-all team leader like yours. “When I asked her why she was so condescending toward everyone else on the team, she said that no one else cared about excellence as much as she did,” Reynolds says. “However, she also said that a big reason why she valued her role was that it was very important to her to be seen as a good team leader.” ????Reynolds convinced her she wasn’t seen that way, because “good leaders listen. Once she started working on listening to other people, she realized they weren’t so dumb after all. But the change in her behavior came about only because it served her own purposes, not someone else’s.” ????Ask enough of the right questions, and you could get a surprise. You might discover, for instance, that this person would rather not be leading a team at all. “Maybe he sees working with a team as just slowing him down. Maybe he’s impatient with others’ suggestions because it annoys him to have to consider them,” says Reynolds. “If so, it could make a lot more sense to let him work alone, and let other people implement his great ideas.” ????But you’ll never know unless you ask. “People don’t change unless they really want to, and achieving their own goals—not yours—is always the best reason,” Reynolds says. So finding out what those goals are is “common sense,” she adds. “But it isn’t common practice.” Good luck. ????Talkback: Have you ever persuaded a colleague to change his or behavior? What worked (or didn’t)? Leave a comment below. |
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