????4. 重新敘述對方大聲叫喊的內容。科恩表示,當你理解了對方試圖表達的觀點時,他們往往能平靜下來,停止叫喊。所以,嘗試用自己的語言重新敘述對方叫喊的內容:“如果我沒理解錯的話,你的意思是說我們需要……”當上司對你叫喊時,如果你能控制住自己的本能反應,用心傾聽他要表達的實質內容,你會發現,他可能正在表達重要的信息。如果是這樣的話,表明自己理解了對方的真實意圖,或許就能讓對方偃旗息鼓。 ????5. 提前準備解決方案。科恩表示,如果你提前就知道,發生了某件事情會讓上司怒火中燒,“那就不要毫無準備地走進會議室。提前想出一些可以解決問題的方案——最好是有創意的、出人意料的方案。意料之外的解決方案能讓怒吼的人冷靜下來,停止咆哮,開始考慮這個自己沒有想到的方法。”當然,在提出這些方案的時候要輕聲細語。不久,他就能領會到你的意圖。
????總而言之,或許等你在這個崗位工作超過兩個月之后,你也會像那位同事一樣,對上司的怒吼無動于衷。科恩說:“如果你知道這只是上司應對壓力的一種方式,沒什么大不了的,為什么還要為此而煩惱?要提醒自己,失去控制,對別人大聲叫喊,只會降低他自己的職業信用,并不會影響你的信用。”確實如此。 反饋:你的上司或同事是否經常大喊大叫?你如何應對這種情況?歡迎評論。(財富中文網) ????譯者:劉進龍/汪皓???? |
????4. Restate what he's yelling about. Sometimes yellers calm down when it's clear you've understood the point they're trying to make, Cohen says. So try repeating back to him what he just shouted, but in your own words: "If I understand you correctly, you're saying we need to…." "If you can get past your gut reaction to being yelled at and listen to the substance of what your boss is saying, he may be revealing important information," Cohen notes. If so, showing that you've heard it might help reduce the volume. ????5. Prepare a solution ahead of time. If you know in advance that something has happened that's likely to set him off, "don't go into a meeting unprepared. Come up with some ideas about how to address whatever the issue is -- ideally, some creative, surprising ones," says Cohen. "A surprise often throws a yeller off-kilter and makes him stop and consider an approach that may not have occurred to him." Again, when you present these, speak softly. After a while, he may take the hint. ????All that said, Cohen wonders if maybe, when you've been in this job for longer than two months, you'll become as blasé about the noise as your more seasoned colleague is. "If you know this is just the way this person reacts to stress, and it doesn't mean anything, why let it bother you?" he says. "Remind yourself that losing control and shouting at people detracts from his professional credibility, not yours." True. Talkback: Have you ever worked for, or with, someone who yelled all the time? How did you handle it? Leave a comment below. |
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