????了解這些信息后，就可以尋找“共同點”，再與客戶分享。如果沒有，也請不要偽造共同點。謊言終究會被識破。要建立共同點，真實才是關鍵。共同點的建立可以在私人會面時完成，例如午餐、晚餐，甚至一杯咖啡的時間。這并不意味著你需要帶著客戶出去喝到酩酊大醉！事實上，這些場合反倒很難與客戶分享經歷。然而，通過一個真誠的請求表達出你想了解他們的意愿，就能明確傳達出這樣的信號：你在乎他們，你想融入他們、了解他們。分享你的個人經歷能夠轉變他們看待你的方式。

????學會將客戶信息整理出一份資料，并在每次會面或致電前回顧這些內容。帶著對客戶的了解與之對話，這樣他們每次都能感受到，你并沒有單純地將他們視作交易對象，而且你們還擁有共通之處。這就是建立“默契關系”的秘訣，在默契的狀態下，兩個人很容易達到和諧之境。建立的默契越多，對方變成“上帝”的機會就越小。

????“人們愿意和自己喜歡的人做生意，而且往往也喜歡那些與自己相似的人”

????——安東尼?羅賓

????5. 用心聆聽，而不僅僅是給個耳朵。很多人都不會傾聽。為什么？因為他們都在忙著思考要說什么，或準備進行辯解，或回擊，或“證明自己的論點正確”。這是非常悲哀的，同時也幾乎是所有問題的癥結所在。你可以把握和客戶在一起的一切機會，通過學會全心“聆聽”客戶的要求，改變你的傾聽能力。

????·注意他們的面部表情

????·聆聽他們的語調

????·聆聽他們的呼吸頻率

????·聆聽情感

????·聆聽更深層次的問題和關注點

????·聆聽對獲取幫助的請求

????·通過聆聽尋找做出貢獻的可能性

????這種聆聽方式需要練習，而且不管是誰，只要愿意放下自我并且敞開心扉去體會他人的全部，都很容易習得。練習的次數越多，就越容易做到。

????事實上，對他人產生影響力的最有力方式是聆聽，而不是述說。同時，在你述說時，將聆聽到的內容反映到你的述說當中。

????As you learn these things, look for the “common ground” and share it with them. Don’t fake it or pretend you have things in common if you don’t. You will be found out. To establish Common Ground, authenticity is key. This can be done during personal meeting time such as lunches, dinners or even a cup of coffee. It doesn’t mean you have to take them out and drink with them until you pass out! In fact, on those occasions, very little is often shared. But a sincere request to learn more about your customer sends a clear signal: you care, you are involved, you want to know them as people. Sharing a personal story about yourself literally has the ability to transform how they see you.

????As you learn keep a file on them and review it before each meeting or phone call. Bring your understanding of them into conversations, each time reminding them you are a person that sees them as more than a transaction and that you have things in common with them. This is the secret of building “Rapport”--- a state where two people easily get into harmony. The more rapport you build, the less people act like “Lords.”

????“People like to do business with people they like. And, they like people who are like them.” Anthony Robbins

????5. Listen with Your Heart, Not Just Your Mind.Most people simply don’t listen. Why? Because they are too busy planning what they want to say, or planning to defend or hit back or ‘score a point.’ That is very sad and is actually the cause of almost all the trouble there is. You can transform your listening by learning to be fully “present” with your customers whenever you are together.

????? Listen to their facial expression

????? Listen to the tone of their voice

????? Listen to the rate of their breathing

????? Listen for emotions

????? Listen for the deeper issues and concerns

????? Listen for requests for help

????? Listen for the possibilities to make a contribution

????To listen in this way takes practice, and, it can be easily learned by anyone who is willing to put their own ego aside and just open themselves to experiencing the totality of the other person.The more you practice, the easier it gets.

????Listening is the most powerful way to gain influence with others, not talking. And, when you speak, let your speaking reflect what showed up in your listening.