5大生存法則：遭遇吹毛求疵的老板怎么辦？
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????2. 永遠不要以同樣的方式回應他的責罵。“保持冷靜、平靜和泰然自若，”卡瓦伊奧拉建議。“許多控制型完美主義者以激怒其他人為樂趣。所以，無論是猛烈還擊，還是自我防衛，都只會讓情況更加糟糕。” ????3. 通過其他渠道獲得積極反饋。卡瓦伊奧拉說：“不論你通過了多少考驗，證明了自己的能力，對你的上司來說，永遠都是不夠的。如果想靠自己單槍匹馬來解決這個問題，最終只會讓你的自信消耗殆盡。”所以，嘗試從其他渠道獲得支持。卡瓦伊奧拉建議，從公司內部或外部尋找一兩位導師，讓他們給你提供從上司那里無法獲得的鼓勵和建設性的批評意見。 ????他補充道：“你還需要一個能讓你發泄的人，”比如配偶或朋友，“作為傾聽者，你可以通過他們獲得共鳴并進行現狀核實，來糾正上司對你的偏見。”實際上，身為精神病醫師的卡瓦伊奧拉與尼爾?蘭文德之所以決定撰寫《無法取悅》【以及之前的《有毒的同事》（Toxic Coworkers）】等書籍，是因為他們發現，對于上司總是吹毛求疵的許多患者來說，他們一直都在扮演傾聽者這樣一個角色，借此積累了寫作素材。 ????4. 不要默默承受。卡瓦伊奧拉建議：“讓公司內的其他人知道，你對于自己受到的待遇非常不滿。要求對方對這一信息保密，也不要指望在短期內采取任何措施。不過，有可能不止你一個人對這位上司有意見，如果有足夠多的人抱怨，決策者們可能就會注意到問題所在。”而這就涉及到我們要說的第五條。 ????5. 不要放棄。卡瓦伊奧拉發現：“隨著時間的推移，控制型完美主義者會令上級和下級都心生怨恨，進而自斷退路，他們注定必然得離開，或者被辭退。所以一定要堅持下去。把注意力放到工作上去，努力比他留在公司的時間更久。” ????就算上面這些措施都不奏效，但既然你一直希望在這家公司工作，那就不要放棄（起碼不是現在）。開始在公司內尋找自己可以調任的其他職位。很有可能，其他管理者比你現任上司更加優秀。 ????反饋：你是否曾在控制型完美主義者手下工作？你如何應對這種情況？歡迎評論。（財富中文網） ????譯者：劉進龍/汪皓 |
????2. Never respond to his rants in kind. "Stay cool, calm, and collected," Cavaiola advises. "Some controlling perfectionists take pleasure in getting other people riled up, so lashing out or being defensive just makes them worse." ????3. Get positive feedback from other sources. "No matter how many hoops you jump through, it will never be enough for this person," says Cavaiola. "Trying to deal with this in isolation will eventually destroy your self-confidence." So get support elsewhere. Cavaiola recommends finding a mentor or two, inside or outside your company, to give you the encouragement and constructive criticism you're not getting from your boss. ????"You also need someone you can vent with," such as a mate or a friend, "as a sounding board and a reality check," he adds. In fact, Cavaiola and his co-author Neil Lavender, who are both practicing shrinks, decided to write Impossible to Please (and a previous book, Toxic Coworkers) because they found themselves playing this role for so many of their patients with hypercritical bosses. ????4. Don't suffer in silence. "Let someone else in the organization know that you're unhappy with how you're being treated," Cavaiola suggests. "Ask that the information be kept confidential, and don't expect any action in the short term. But chances are good that you're not the only one having problems with this person. If enough people complain, decision-makers may take notice." Which brings us to No. 5 … ????5. Don't give up. "Over time, controlling perfectionists tend to rankle many people both above and below them, and to burn bridges, which sets the stage for their leaving or being let go," Cavaiola observes. "So hang in there. Maintain your focus on your work and try to outlast him." ????If all else fails, since you've always wanted to work for this company, don't quit (yet). Start looking around for somewhere else you could move to within the organization. The odds are pretty good that just about any other manager in the place would be better than this one. ????Talkback: Have you ever worked for a controlling perfectionist? How did you handle it? Leave a comment below. |
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