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????親愛(ài)的安妮：我是一名資深軟件專家，在本行業(yè)擁有數(shù)十年的工作經(jīng)驗(yàn)。但是，我的老板依然不信任我，他一直不讓我參與公司的決策。他曾經(jīng)當(dāng)過(guò)軍官，所以，實(shí)際上，他對(duì)我就像對(duì)他以前手下的士兵一樣。

????為了跟上技術(shù)發(fā)展的速度，我一直在不斷提升自己的技能。而且，在我的專業(yè)領(lǐng)域，我的知識(shí)遠(yuǎn)比他的豐富。但是，他總是把我的“帶寬”限制在他能理解的范圍內(nèi)，這根本無(wú)法發(fā)揮我的潛力。他總是忽略我的技術(shù)意見(jiàn)，團(tuán)隊(duì)為此已經(jīng)付出過(guò)代價(jià)。我希望他能放寬要求，即使不能與他平起平坐，起碼要把我當(dāng)作資深團(tuán)隊(duì)成員來(lái)看待。我該怎么做？——敢怒不敢言者

????親愛(ài)的“敢怒不敢言者”：你遇到的問(wèn)題，應(yīng)該包括兩個(gè)相對(duì)獨(dú)立的方面——首先是你老板采取的自上而下、指揮+控制型的管理模式；其次，他的知識(shí)不如你的淵博。我們先來(lái)看第一個(gè)問(wèn)題。

????貢扎格?杜福爾認(rèn)為，在面對(duì)難以相處的上司時(shí)（大多數(shù)人都曾有這樣的經(jīng)歷），任何人都有三個(gè)基本選擇：“限制痛苦，瞄準(zhǔn)收益，或者離開(kāi)。”

????貢扎格?杜福爾在其新著《搞定你的上司：如何成功地與各種老板相處》（Managing Your Manager: How to Get Ahead with Any Type of Boss）一書(shū)中，列出了六類(lèi)“魔鬼老板”，這些老板會(huì)破壞你的職業(yè)生涯；而本書(shū)提供的一些實(shí)用策略，會(huì)幫助你將這些損害降到最低，當(dāng)然，更不用說(shuō)你的血壓了。

????杜福爾曾在菲利普莫里斯公司（Philip Morris）、卡夫公司（Kraft）以及其他大型公司長(zhǎng)期擔(dān)任人力資源主管。目前，他在百加得（Bacardi）公司負(fù)責(zé)行政管理人員的招聘與培訓(xùn)。他表示，之所以會(huì)寫(xiě)這本書(shū)，是因?yàn)椤霸谶^(guò)去30年里，我被無(wú)數(shù)次問(wèn)到這個(gè)問(wèn)題：‘我該怎么跟這位讓人難以忍受的老板打交道？’”

????在書(shū)中，他也提到了自己遇到過(guò)的差勁老板，其中包括一位“精明、善解人意，卻不具備決策能力”的老板；還有一位老板，“他非常善于往上爬，這在很大程度上是因?yàn)椋瑯由朴谠谑虑楦阍业臅r(shí)候，把責(zé)任推給別人。”他回憶道，有時(shí)候，在不得不跟令人惱火的上司相處時(shí)，“我感覺(jué)我們就像是一對(duì)感情破裂的夫妻。”

????針對(duì)你的特殊情況，杜福爾建議你嘗試下面五種方法：

????1.限制痛苦，瞄準(zhǔn)收益。確認(rèn)為這個(gè)人工作只是“一項(xiàng)臨時(shí)任務(wù)。你可以設(shè)定一個(gè)能夠忍受這項(xiàng)任務(wù)的極限。并且，利用好這段時(shí)間，讓自己將來(lái)更吃香。”比如說(shuō)，你決定可以再忍受一年（假設(shè)你老板的任期有那么長(zhǎng)）。杜福爾表示：“你需要從這份工作中收獲什么，來(lái)為自己的職業(yè)發(fā)展提供幫助？如果你很清楚這點(diǎn)，那就去努力爭(zhēng)取吧。既然你有積極的理由，那么你一定可以堅(jiān)持到最后。”

????2.不要“臨時(shí)通知”。杜福爾指出，專橫的老板，甚至大多數(shù)人，都不喜歡被“臨時(shí)通知”。“因此，任何重大的，甚至相對(duì)不重要的進(jìn)展，都要及時(shí)告訴他們。他們渴望控制與權(quán)力，既然如此，那就給他們一點(diǎn)信息，滿足他們的渴望。”

????3.為你的團(tuán)隊(duì)擔(dān)任中間人的角色。如果你還沒(méi)能做到這一點(diǎn)，杜福爾建議你，首先獲得團(tuán)隊(duì)成員的信任，然后向老板傳達(dá)團(tuán)隊(duì)成員的疑問(wèn)以及他們的需求。杜福爾表示：“或許，這會(huì)讓你有些擔(dān)憂，畢竟這意味著，你必須向老板匯報(bào)一些他可能不想聽(tīng)的事。但是，這么做對(duì)于改善你的處境是有利的，所以值得。”

????4.拒絕做“好好先生”。盡管許多人會(huì)對(duì)專橫的老板讓步，只挑他喜歡的話說(shuō)，并且嚴(yán)格地執(zhí)行他的所有命令，但杜福爾卻認(rèn)為“這是一個(gè)重大錯(cuò)誤” 。相反，你應(yīng)該“一直等著，直到你確信，你的老板犯了一個(gè)重大錯(cuò)誤”——一個(gè)將危及他的既定目標(biāo)的錯(cuò)誤——“或者，直到你想出一個(gè)更好的主意，并且你對(duì)此信心滿滿。”

????然后，找出簡(jiǎn)潔的、符合邏輯的理由來(lái)證明你的方法：“強(qiáng)調(diào)積極的結(jié)果。把重點(diǎn)放在按照你說(shuō)的做他能獲得什么這一點(diǎn)上。”如果你已經(jīng)做過(guò)類(lèi)似嘗試，堅(jiān)持下去：“事先預(yù)演你的論據(jù)，并且你要保證，以一種清晰、理性地方式進(jìn)行陳述”——不要自以為他在技術(shù)上懂得沒(méi)你多，就表現(xiàn)出哪怕是一絲一毫的傲慢態(tài)度。有時(shí)候，問(wèn)題并不在于你說(shuō)的話，而是你說(shuō)話的方式。

????5.做老板不喜歡做的工作。杜福爾發(fā)現(xiàn)，總體上而言，指揮+控制型老板“不喜歡耗時(shí)太長(zhǎng)的辯論和討論，而且他們也不擅于應(yīng)付各種‘人的問(wèn)題’。”所以，你可以考慮把這個(gè)變成你的專長(zhǎng)（再說(shuō)，這對(duì)你自己的長(zhǎng)期職業(yè)發(fā)展前景也不會(huì)造成任何危害。）

????杜福爾表示，補(bǔ)充老板軟技能的缺失，“不見(jiàn)得會(huì)讓他心存感激。實(shí)際上，由于你有能力做到他做不到的事情，他可能會(huì)對(duì)你心存嫉恨。”不過(guò)，即便是專制的老板，他們也極少會(huì)不知道，忽視“人的問(wèn)題”最終會(huì)損害他們自己的職業(yè)發(fā)展前景，而杜福爾表示，這是“他們難以忍受的。”

????對(duì)于你的第二個(gè)問(wèn)題，即你感覺(jué)你的老板對(duì)技術(shù)不夠精通：如何保證不讓他的缺點(diǎn)阻礙你的發(fā)展，這完全取決于你。如果你還沒(méi)有開(kāi)始這么做，杜福爾建議你，發(fā)展一個(gè)專業(yè)的領(lǐng)域，然后開(kāi)始在整個(gè)公司內(nèi)建立一個(gè)人際網(wǎng)絡(luò)。

????他表示：“與盡可能多的人結(jié)成同盟，從人力資源部到其他技術(shù)領(lǐng)域，包括后勤人員。關(guān)鍵是要讓所有人都知道，你是某個(gè)特定領(lǐng)域的達(dá)人。這樣一來(lái)，你名聲的好壞和職業(yè)的興衰就不會(huì)僅僅，或者主要取決于老板一個(gè)人的意志。”

????杜福爾指出，即便是為最優(yōu)秀的老板工作，“你也要突出自己，否則你會(huì)錯(cuò)過(guò)許多機(jī)會(huì)。”誰(shuí)知道呢，如果哪天你能有幸被正確的人相中，你可能得到快速提升，并擺脫這個(gè)家伙的控制——而到那時(shí)，他就是別人的麻煩了。

????Dear Annie:I am a senior software specialist with decades of experience. Yet the manager I'm working for still doesn't trust me and won't grant me any decision-making flexibility. In fact, he treats me like one of the enlisted men who worked for him in his previous career in the military.

????I've consistently kept my skills up to date through multiple technology evolutions, and my knowledge of my field is far superior to his. Nevertheless, he limits my "bandwidth" to what he understands, which is nowhere near my potential. As a team, we've paid the price for his ignoring my technical advice. How can I get him to loosen up and treat me like a senior team member, if not an equal? —Seething in Silence

????Dear Seething:Yikes. It sounds like you have two separate problems here -- your manager's top-down, command-and-control management style, and the fact that he seems to know less than you do. Let's start with the first one.

????Anybody reporting to a difficult person (which includes most of us, at one time or another), has three basic choices, says Gonzague Dufour: "Limit the pain, target the gain, or leave."

????In a new book, Managing Your Manager: How to Get Ahead with Any Type of Boss, he identifies six broad types of "bosses from hell" and offers practical strategies for minimizing the damage they can do to your career, not to mention your blood pressure.

????Dufour, a longtime HR chief at Philip Morris (PM), Kraft (KFT), and other large companies, now runs executive recruiting and development at Bacardi. He wrote the book because "I've been asked hundreds of times over the past 30 years, 'How can I deal with this impossible boss?'" he says.

????He also reported to a few bad bosses himself, including one who was "smart, empathetic, and incapable of making a decision," and another who was "skilled at getting promoted in large part because he was equally skilled at blaming others when things went wrong." At times, he recalls, while having to work closely with a maddening higher-up, "I felt we were the equivalent of a dysfunctional married couple."

????In your particular situation, Dufour suggests trying these five steps:

????1.Limit the pain, target the gain.Recognize that working for this person is "a temporary assignment. You can set limits on how long you'll tolerate it, and use the time to make yourself more marketable." Let's say you decide you can take one more year of this (assuming your boss sticks around that long). "If you figure out what you need to get out of the job to help your career, and go after it, you have a positive incentive to serve out that term," Dufour says.

????2.Avoid surprises.Autocrats, even more than most people, "hate to be blindsided," Dufour notes. "Therefore, keep them informed of significant, and even relatively insignificant, developments. They crave control and power, so feeding them tidbits of information satisfies this craving."

????3.Be the go-between for your team.If you haven't already taken on this role, Dufour recommends that you earn the trust of other members of your group and be the one who communicates their problems and needs to the boss. "This can be intimidating, since it means telling him things he might not want to hear," Dufour says, "but the tradeoff of elevated status is worth it."

????4.Refuse to be a "yes man."Although many people try to appease an autocrat by telling him exactly what he wants to hear and following every order to the letter, "this is a huge mistake," Dufour says. Instead, "wait until you're convinced your manager is making a huge mistake" -- one that will jeopardize his own stated goals -- "or until you come up with a better idea that you truly believe in."

????Then, make a concise, logical case for your approach: "Emphasize the positive outcome. Focus on what your boss will get out of doing as you suggest." If you've already tried this, keep at it: "Rehearse your argument beforehand and make sure you are stating it clearly and rationally" -- and without a trace of condescension for his (alleged) lack of technical knowledge. Sometimes, of course, it's not what you say that can trip you up, it's how you say it.

????5.Do the tasks your boss dislikes.In general, command-and-control bosses "don't enjoy extended debate and discussion, and they aren't adept at dealing with any type of 'people problem'," Dufour observes. So consider making that your specialty (which will do no harm to your own long-term career prospects either, incidentally).

????Helping your boss compensate for his lack of soft skills "won't earn you thanks. In fact, he may resent your ability to do something he can't," notes Dufour. However, even autocrats are rarely so oblivious that they don't know, deep down, that ignoring "people problems" will eventually damage their own professional prospects -- and that, says Dufour, "is one thing they can't stomach."

????Now, about your second issue, to wit, your perception that your boss's technical knowledge isn't up to snuff: It's up to you to make sure his shortcomings don't hold you back. If you haven't already started doing so, Dufour urges you to develop an area of expertise and then get busy building a network all over the company.

????"Create alliances with as many different people as you can, from human resources to other technical areas to support staff," he says. "The point is to become widely known as the 'go-to' person for a particular thing, so that your reputation and your career do not depend solely, or even mainly, on the good will of this one boss."

????Even if you worked for the world's most fabulous manager, "you need to be visible, or you'll miss out on opportunities," Dufour points out. Get noticed by just one of the right people and who knows: You could get promoted out from under this guy sooner than you think -- and then he'll be somebody else's problem.