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我認為，社交是一個毫無誠意的過程。人們之所以愿意與你交往，是基于你能夠給予他們什么：介紹合適的人或機構。即便如此，建立恰當的人脈關系，也是商業經營的重要組成部分，是一件你不想去做但又不得不做的事情。我的建議聽起來或許與主流文化相反，但我相信，如果你能采用正確的社交方式，你一定能在蕓蕓眾生中脫穎而出，享受人脈帶來的好處。下面是我對社交的幾種看法：

專注于你可以給予什么

在試圖與別人建立有意義的聯系時，想想自己可以為他們的職業或公司提供哪些幫助。針對你要說話的對象精心設計你的電梯演說。只要你將解決他們的問題放在首位，你便可以自動建立起與對方的良好關系，而且他們也更有可能報答你的好意。記住：人們更愿意幫助與他們有私交的人。

精心選擇社交對象

在雞尾酒會或會議期間，我經常看到有人精疲力竭，試圖認識房間里的每一個人。我卻建議采取相反的作法，只選擇少數幾個人，在活動期間與他們建立更深厚的關系。這種方法可以讓你在私人層面上認識更多人，使你們之間形成一種真誠的聯系，并且給彼此留下持久的印象。這樣做可以幫你建立起一個能夠長時間地記住你的人脈網絡。

少說多聽

當你與人初次見面時，你認為自己應該主導談話，展示你的主要成就，這是正常的想法；你希望留下良好的印象。但我的建議是提出明智的問題，讓對方多說話。再次強調一遍，你需要調整你的電梯演說，使其盡可能地與對方有所關聯，并且能夠清晰地說明你的情況，這一點非常重要。如果人們感覺自己的話得到了傾聽，對話結束之后，他們會對你產生非常好的回憶。坦白說，所有人都喜歡談論自己！

及時跟進

社交活動結束之后，及時跟進是建立持久關系的關鍵。一定要通過電子郵件或手寫的便條聯系你的新朋友，這樣他們就知道如何聯系你。由于生活的忙碌，這一步往往會被人遺忘，但事實上，它非常重要，因為它將幫助你鞏固你剛剛建立的新關系。（財富中文網）

作者烏爾里克·博·拉森為Falcon Social公司創始人兼CEO。

譯者：劉進龍/汪皓

審校：任文科

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In my opinion, networking can be a bit of a disingenuous process. People tend to want to network with you for what you can give them: introductions to the right people or organizations. That said, making the right connections is an important part of business and in a way, a necessary evil. My advice may sound counterculture, but I believe that when you take the right approach to networking you’ll stand out from the crowd and reap the benefits. Here are a few ways I like to think about networking:

Focus on what you can give

When you’re trying to make a meaningful connection with someone think about how you can help them with either their career or business. Tailor your elevator pitch to whom ever you’re speaking with. If you take the approach of solving their problem first, you’ll automatically build goodwill with someone who will be much more likely to return the favor. Remember: people enjoy helping those they can connect with on a personal level.

Only network with a select few people

I often see people at cocktail receptions or conferences running themselves ragged trying to meet everyone in the room. I like to take the opposite approach, meeting only a select few people, and building deeper relationships with them during the course of the evening. This approach allows you to know those handful of people on a more personal level, creating a genuine connection that’s bound to have a lasting impression. And you’re building a community of contacts who’ll remember you in the long haul.

Talk less, listen more

It’s normal to feel like you have to dominate a conversation and highlight all your key accomplishments when you meet someone for the first time; you want to make an good impression. That said, my recommendation is to ask smart questions and get the person you’re networking with to do more of the talking. Again, it’s important to fine-tune your elevator pitch to make it’s as relevant as possible to the individual opposite you, while also clearly articulating who you are. If someone feels heard, they’ll likely walk away from the conversation with a very positive memory of you. And lets be honest, everyone likes talking about themselves!

Follow-up in a timely manner

Following-up with the people you meet at your networking event is essential to building a lasting relationships. Make sure to reach out to your new contact via email or a hand-written note so that they know how to reach you. This step is often lost in the busyness of life, but it’s an important one as it’ll help solidify the new relationship you’ve recently made.