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桑德伯格新作:告別摯愛后重新解讀“向前一步”

桑德伯格新作:告別摯愛后重新解讀“向前一步”

Valentina Zarya 2017-05-02
雖然寫作本書源于喪夫之痛,但Facebook首席運營官雪莉?桑德伯格在書中并非一味談?wù)撊绾螌Υ劳觯瑫r強(qiáng)調(diào)了如何更好地生活。

《選項B》(Option B)由桑德伯格與沃頓商學(xué)院教授亞當(dāng)?格蘭特合著。書中回憶了桑德伯格丈夫戴夫?高德伯格去世后的傷痛,也研究探索了人們怎樣克服逆境。

《選項B》并非《向前一步》的續(xù)篇,不過,桑德伯格的確在新書中提到了前作,承認(rèn)之前的書有局限,也表示自己運氣比較好。“寫《向前一步》之后,有人評價,我沒有花多少筆墨描寫女性失去伴侶后面臨的困難。他們說得對。”她這樣寫道。

在《選項B》中,桑德伯格重新解釋了前作中提出的口號。她回憶了一段小插曲:主持丈夫葬禮的猶太教教士提醒她:“向逆境前行。”意思是,做好準(zhǔn)備,生活中的不幸造成的傷痛可能會持續(xù)一段時間。桑德伯格在新書中寫道:“他說的前行跟我說的前行意思不一樣,不過對當(dāng)時的我來說也是好建議。”

這一次,桑德伯格和格蘭特顯然為了表現(xiàn)包容性頗費周章:書中許多故事提到少數(shù)族裔怎樣克服逆境。故事固然發(fā)人深省,但讀者往往會感覺像是作者生加的內(nèi)容。類似的情況還有,通篇夾雜的研究雖然有趣,但證明桑德伯格和格蘭特的觀點方面力度遠(yuǎn)不如桑德伯格描述自己如何戰(zhàn)勝悲痛。

書中最有力之處是文字娓娓道來,仿佛直接閱讀桑德伯格的日記。部分章節(jié)中,我們能看到,這位大權(quán)在握自信非凡的頂尖精英如何努力擺脫不安。桑德伯格寫道:

“我討厭求助,討厭需要幫助,沒完沒了地?fù)?dān)心我變成大家沉重的包袱,但又總是需要別人的支持。我心神不安飽受折磨,差點就要成立一個心理輔導(dǎo)互助小組,就叫‘害怕麻煩別人的人’。后來我才意識到,所有人都會害怕給他人添麻煩,只不過沒人會表現(xiàn)出來。”

總之,盡管這本書話題很沉重,但可讀性很強(qiáng),并且頗具教育意義,適合閱讀的人群很廣。(財富中文網(wǎng))

本文曾發(fā)表于2017年4月1日期《財富》雜志,原標(biāo)題為《今春哪些書值得一讀》。

譯者:Pessy

審稿:夏林

Co-written with Wharton professor Adam Grant, Option B is part Sandberg's memoir of the days and weeks following the death of her husband Dave Goldberg, and part research-based exploration of overcoming adversity.

It's not exactly a follow-up to Lean In, but the Facebook COO does address her previous work in the new one, acknowledging its limitations and her own relatively good fortune: "When I wrote Lean In, some people argue that I did not spend enough time writing about the difficulties women face when they don't have a partner. They were right."

Sandberg's trademark phrase itself takes on a new meaning in Option B. Sandberg recounts an episode where the rabbi who presided over her husband's funeral tells her to "lean in to the suck"—that is, expect her life to be awful for a little while. Sandberg writes: "Not exactly what I mean when I said 'lean in,' but for me it was good advice."

This time around, it is clear that Sandberg and Grant went to great lengths to be inclusive: Many of the book's anecdotes about overcoming adversity come from minority populations. These stories, while enlightening, at times feel as though they were forced into the narrative. Likewise, the research that's sprinkled in throughout is, while interesting, not nearly as powerful in making Sandberg and Grant's point as the tech executive's own account of overcoming grief.

The most compelling parts of the book are those that feel like they came straight out of Sandberg's journal. In these sections, we see that even the most powerful, confident people struggle with insecurities. She writes:

I hated asking for help, hated needing it, worried incessantly that I was a huge burden to everyone, and yet depended on their constant support. I was suffering from so many insecurities that I almost started a People Afraid of Inconveniencing Others support group, until I realized that all of the members would be afraid of imposing on one another and no one would show up.

All in all, despite its heavy subject matter, the book is a surprisingly readable, thoroughly educational, and widely applicable read.

A version of this article appears in the April 1, 2017 issue of Fortune with the headline "What You Should Read This Spring."

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