“透視領導力”是一個在線互動社區,那些最具思想和影響力的商界人物會在此及時回答關于職業發展和領導力的問題。今天的問題是:“怎樣解決辦公室矛盾?”回答者是Karrikins Group首席促進增長官朱莉?威廉姆森,她也是《問題關鍵:眼光不拘于競爭,創造更多價值成為明顯選擇》一書的聯合作者。。 我們不可能跟所有人和睦相處。如果在辦公室跟人結了怨,大家都知道這會讓工作環境變得多么令人分心和有害。在上班路上想著自己會面對某人隱隱的怨氣,或者在更壞情況下,面對某人公然的惡意行為是一種很糟糕的感覺。無論誰對誰錯,同事們或許都會給你們施加壓力,要求你們修補關系,而且要迅速這樣做,以免個人恩怨影響工作項目。 怎樣解決糾紛也會對你自己的職業地位產生直接影響。以下是化解矛盾并重回正軌的三個步驟: 靜下來并自我調整 在采取任何種類的行動前,趁著記憶依然清晰,花點兒時間回想一下剛剛發生的事。找個安靜的地方坐下來,深吸一口氣。用盡量客觀的態度做一些記錄,重點是誰說了什么,紛爭是怎樣開始的,以及其他相關信息。回想沖突事件絕非易事,但如果等的時間太長,也許就會忘記關鍵的細節。 假設和你起沖突的同事也在做記錄。請記住,你們可能都覺得受了傷,分了心,而且不知道接下來該怎么辦。 向信得過的哥們傾訴 在辦公室里有個信得過的哥們在感情上支持你總是好的。如果和別人發生了矛盾,請抑制住吐槽對方特征的沖動,這不會幫你解決問題。相反,要讓你的哥們通過提供客觀意見的方式來協助你。 和他們一起回顧你對這場沖突的看法,讓他們問你一些直截了當的問題,以便剖析局勢,而且要愿意傾聽他們的反饋。他們也許能拿出新的見解,從而幫你擺脫怨氣的困擾。要當面或者通過電話來做這件事,不要寫電子郵件或者發信息,因為后者很容易被誤解。 直面問題 你可能覺得自己徹底受到了傷害和誤解。想到不得不向跟你起沖突的同事“示好”也許會讓你很生氣。如果能夠表明你對工作投入的更多,而不是自己受傷的情感,你也許會有一些強力收獲。采取積極姿態能證明你自己的價值,從而讓上司更多的支持你。 我有一位步入職場不久的同事,他跟另一位同事似乎莫名其妙地產生了矛盾。他表示:“說實話,我不知道自己怎么招惹他了。所以我甚至不愿意承認有這么個問題?!?/p> 由于他們在同一個項目里而且面臨著完成工作的壓力,我的這位同事決定直接面對問題。他請后者去吃午飯,而且明確地講了自己的想法。“我告訴他我很擔心,也很困惑。我說自己可能在無意間冒犯了他。”由于為談話創造了一個安全的環境,他讓這位同事很放松。 午飯吃了一大半后他們發現兩人都在無意間傷到了對方。他說:“實際上我們的談話很棒。我們倆都不應該受責備,但如果不說,我們也許永遠也不會知道?!?/p> 如果必須把矛盾告訴上司,那就要確保自己通過上述三個步驟嘗試了所有可能的解決辦法。管理者一般都不愿參與到沖突中。 人們總會有自己的第一次辦公室沖突,而且有可能不是最后一次。如果有成功化解矛盾的經驗,你就會有信心和思路來解決今后的其他沖突。 不過,如果另一方就是不愿意積極配合,請記住兩條基本原則。首先,不要在社交媒體上發牢騷,就算用的是個人賬號。要把問題留在職場上。其次,照顧好自己。給自己創造一些空間并走出辦公室。把它排解掉,去上一堂精彩的瑜伽課,舒暢地跑一場,做一份賞心悅目的美餐,或者做點兒別的什么來提醒自己生活絕不只是工作上的矛盾。(財富中文網) 譯者:Charlie 審稿:夏林 |
The Leadership Insiders network is an online community where the most thoughtful and influential people in business contribute answers to timely questions about careers and leadership. Today's answer to the question, "How do you resolve an office feud?" is written by Julie Williamson, chief growth enabler with Karrikins Group and co-author of Matter: Move Beyond the Competition, Create More Value, and Become the Obvious Choice. We can't get along with everyone. If you've ever been involved in an office feud, you know how disruptive and toxic it can be for the workplace. It feels terrible to come to work anticipating someone's subtle resentment, or worse, overtly bad behavior. And no matter who's right or wrong, your colleagues may put pressure on you to fix it—and fast, before it gets in the way of a work project. How you resolve the conflict can have a direct bearing on your own professional standing as well. Here are three steps for resolving the feud and getting back on track: Stop and regroup Before taking any kind of action, take time to reflect on what just happened while it's still fresh in your mind. Sit down somewhere quiet and take a deep breath. Jot down some notes as objectively as you can, focusing on who said what, how the fight started, and other relevant information. Revisiting a conflict is never easy, but if you wait too long, you may not remember key details. Assume that your counterpart is also doing their own version of this. Remember that you both likely feel injured, disrupted, and unsure of how to move forward. Confide in a trusted ally It's always good to have a trusted ally in the office for emotional support. If and when you wind up in a conflict, resist the urge to vent about the character of your opponent—that's not going to help you get over this. Instead, ask for your ally's assistance as an objective sounding board. Review your understanding of the conflict with them, have them ask you pointed questions to dig into the situation, and be willing to listen to their feedback. They may provide new insights that can help keep you out of the resentment trap. Go through this process in person or on the phone—not through email or text, which can be easily misconstrued. Confront the situation directly You may feel completely wronged and misunderstood, and it may be infuriating to think of having to "make nice" with the coworker you're in conflict with. If you can show that you're more invested in your job than your hurt feelings, you may reap a powerful reward. Taking the high road will demonstrate your own value in a way that will produce more support from your supervisors. Earlier in his career, a colleague of mine wound up in a conflict with a coworker that seemed to come out of left field. "I honestly had no idea what I had done to upset him," he said. "So I was reluctant to even acknowledge there was a problem." Since they were on the same project and under pressure to deliver, he decided to confront the situation directly. He invited the person to lunch and was transparent about his intentions. "I told him I was concerned and confused, and offered the possibility that I might have offended him unintentionally." By creating a safe space for the conversation, he set his coworker at ease. It took the better part of their cheeseburgers to figure out that they were inadvertently treading on each other's toes. "Actually, it was a great thing we talked," he said. "Neither of us was to blame, but we never would have known." If you do have to take your feud to your boss, make sure you've exhausted the possibility of a solution by completing these three steps first. Managers generally prefer to stay out of conflicts. There's always a first time for an office conflict, and there probably won't be a last. If you have the experience of successfully defusing a feud, you'll have the confidence and the presence of mind to resolve others in the future. That said, if the other person simply won't engage productively, remember these two cardinal rules: First, absolutely no grousing on social media, even your personal accounts. Keep it professional. Second, take care of yourself. Create some space and get outside the office. Work it out of your system with a great yoga class, a good run, cooking an amazing meal, or doing something that reminds you there's more to life than a conflict at work. |