2. 撰寫使命宣言

????“你的孩子能說得出自己的父母最看重的價值嗎？”當被問及這個問題的時候，費勒意識到，“我希望他們知道。不過實際上，我從來沒有告訴過他們。”與此同時，他妻子工作的非盈利組織正處于撰寫使命宣言的階段，“她回到家里的時候幾乎流著淚，因為這對她來說意義重大。”

????因此費勒和妻子以及雙胞胎女兒“舉行了類似于企業拓展的家庭活動。我們舉辦了睡衣派對，大家擠在爸爸媽媽的床上進行了這樣的談話：對我們來說，什么才是最重要的？”

????第一次聽到撰寫家庭使命宣言的想法時，“我認為這想法很掃興，是老生常談，毫無幽默感。”但是最后撰寫的聲明包括下面的這些想法，比如“我們熱愛學習”和“允許犯錯誤”，讓費勒一家很好地了解到他們堅持的價值觀。費勒說：“現在的情況是，如果想變成理想的自己，首先得搞明白想成為什么樣的人。而且研究也支持這一點”這份家庭使命宣言就揭示了他們家最理想的狀態。

3. 樹立遠大的目標

????不需要對子女或配偶（這樣做更危險）進行正式的績效考核，也不需要讓他們對你進行正式的考核。但是要在家庭生活中確立目標意識，比如隨著時間流逝，大家變得越來越親密，也可以把人們在商業世界的關注點引入到家庭生活。“它有點像我的保險杠貼紙，”費勒說。“我們有自己的工作，我們在工作上投入精力。我們有自己的愛好，我們在愛好上投入精力。我們有自己的身體，我們花功夫鍛煉自己的身體。我們有自己的家庭，但我們幾乎沒有花時間關心家庭。這就是現實情況。”但是如果做出一點努力，“動點心思，把家庭看做組織或團隊來思考問題，情況就會改觀，”他說。“小舉措也能產生大影響。”（財富中文網）

????譯者：孟潔冰

2. Write a mission statement

????When asked the question "Can your kids say what values are most important to their parents?" Feiler realized that "I'd like to think they could. But the truth is I've never told them." Meanwhile, the nonprofit where his wife worked was going through a mission statement writing process, and "she would come home almost in tears, it was very meaningful to her."

????So Feiler, his wife, and twin girls "did the family equivalent of a corporate retreat. We held a pajama party and piled into mom and dad's bed and had this conversation: What is most important to us?"

????When he first heard of the idea of writing a family mission statement, "I thought it was cold, it was corny, it was humorless." But the resulting statement, incorporating such ideas as "We love to learn" and "We know it's okay to make mistakes," gave the Feiler family a good idea of what they stood for. "Here's the thing, and research backs this up -- you need to identify your best possible self if you want to achieve it," says Feiler. The mission statement revealed their best possible family.

3. Aim to get better

????No, you don't need to do an official performance review for your children or -- more perilously -- your spouse, and you don't need to sit through an official review they give you. But approaching family life with goals in mind, like becoming closer year after year, can transfer some of the same focus people bring to business life to home life. "This is kind of my bumper sticker," says Feiler. "We have our jobs, we work on those. We have our hobbies we work on those. We have our bodies, we work on those. We have our families -- and we spend almost no time working on them. They just are." But if you put in a little bit of effort, "and apply smart ideas for thinking about a family like a group, like a team, you can make it better," he says. "A little bit goes a long way."