????“如果一個人獲得的感謝和贊賞所使用的語言一直不是他最喜歡的方式，隨著時間推移，人們就會覺得空虛，”懷特解釋說。雇主應當避免用禮品和言語堆砌起來的員工感謝計劃，全然忘了其他三種語言。這也適用于身體接觸，當然得符合工作場所的規范。

????喜歡效勞式贊賞的人如果總是獲得口頭夸獎，工作重擔無人分擔的話，就會感到憤怒。比方說，懷特就聽到過這樣一個故事。一位女性正在忙于做賬等文書工作，有位同事主動利用自己的午餐時間來幫她回電話。他回憶說：“那位女士說：‘這不是什么大事，但我很高興知道有人關心我，看出我很忙。’”

????但選對感謝“語言”并不意味著方式就可以一成不變。看重時間的人或許喜歡跟上級一起看球賽，但也有可能視之如瘟疫。致謝之舉仍然需視具體個人或團隊而定。

????懷特指出，圖書管理員或行政助理團隊不一定喜歡在一大堆人面前接受公開表彰，銷售團隊則更有可能享受成為眾人的焦點。

經常化

????感謝員工，光靠舉辦一場夏季野餐會或假日聚會是不夠的。每周、每月都應當定期有相應的行動來感謝員工、下屬和上級。

????凱利曾經在商務社交網站LinkedIn領導一個新成立的呼叫中心。那時，她就曾經從日程表中擠出時間來感謝員工。她給年輕員工發短信，給歲數大的員工手寫的卡片。她會在深夜留下個人語音留言，感謝員工對整個團隊的貢獻，這樣員工們第二天一上班就能聽到這些感謝。她說：“我知道，他們第二天第一件事就是登陸語音信箱。”

具體化

????盡可能地將感謝與個人所做的具體事情以及產生的積極效果聯系起來。

????懷特說：“好樣的，或者‘干得好’達不到效果。必須談談他們具體做了什么，這對你個人、組織或客戶產生什么影響。”

????不是感謝員工每天按時到公司，而是要將這些行為與它展現的品質和價值觀聯系起來。懷特建議：“比方說，‘你是靠得住的人。我真的很欣賞你這一點；我知道你會一直在這里。’”

????隨著時間推移，注重如何感謝以及經常感謝，甚至可以改變不良的企業文化。懷特說：“人們感覺不受重視，不被欣賞，這種現象非常普遍。”

????譯者：楊智

????"If you got thanks and appreciation in all the ways but the ones you prefer, over time you'd still feel a little bit hollow," White explains. Employers should avoid loading up their employee appreciation programs with gifts and words, while forgetting the other three languages. That even applies to physical touch, kept within appropriate workplace bounds, of course.

????Someone who prefers to be appreciated through acts of service would simply get angry if she received praise but no help with a heavy workload. For instance, White heard a story from a woman in billing who was buried with paperwork. A colleague spent her lunch hour helping return phone calls. "The gal that was the recipient said, 'It wasn't that big a deal, but it was nice to know somebody cared and saw that I was stressed,' " he recalls.

????But just because appreciation is in the right "language" doesn't mean a gift should be generic. Someone who values time may enjoy watching sports with a supervisor -- or dread it like the plague. You still need to tailor the gesture to the individual or team in question.

????A team of librarians or administrative assistants may not necessarily enjoy receiving public recognition in front of a large group of people, while a sales force is more likely to relish the spotlight, White notes.

Make it regular

????It's not enough to have a summer picnic and holiday party and consider your employees thanked. You should build into the weekly and monthly routine some regular methods of appreciating colleagues, subordinates, and supervisors.

????When Kelly was leading a new call center for LinkedIn (LNKD), she carved time out of her schedule to thank her staff. She sent text messages to the younger workers and handwritten cards to older employees. And she stayed late many evenings leaving personalized voice mails acknowledging how individual people contributed to the team, so the thanks would be the first thing they heard the next morning. "I knew the first thing they would do the next day was log into their voice mails," she says.

Be specific

????Whenever possible, connect the appreciation with something specific the individual did and how it contributed to a positive outcome.

????"A global attaboy or 'good job' doesn't cut it. You have to talk about what they've done specifically and how it impacts you or the organization or the customer," White says.

????Instead of thanking someone for showing up on time every day, connect the actions to the character and values that the action demonstrates. "Say, 'I really value that you are dependable; I know you're going to be here,' " White suggests.

????Over time, careful attention to how and how often thanks are delivered can turn around even a poisonous corporate culture. "It's rampant, the amount that people don't feel valued and appreciated," White says.