????美國企業中，老板向員工致謝似乎司空見慣。根據人力資源管理協會（Society for Human Resource Management）的數據，有近80%的雇主都執行某種形式的員工感謝計劃。

????但蓋勒普（Gallup）的調查顯示，員工并不領情，高達71%的員工反應冷淡。這是怎么回事？

????威奇托心理學家、《工作場合五種表達贊賞的語言》（The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace）合著者保羅·懷特稱：“我跟員工們聊他們公司的員工感謝計劃時，很多人都表現出不屑和譏諷。他們能夠分清什么是真心實意的欣賞和感激，什么是走走形式。”

????雇主和管理者或許認為，他們在向員工表達謝意。但通常情況下，這些感謝的話要么沒有送到員工的耳朵里，要么沒有送到員工的心里。如果你希望能在這個感恩節彌合這個鴻溝，不妨試試懷特和其他工作場合致謝專家建議的如下步驟：

個人化

????雇主們喜歡大談特談他們給員工提供的25美元禮品卡、員工慶祝或其他團隊建設活動。但為了讓這一聲感謝更有意義，應當與致謝對象個人聯系起來，與他們的喜好和成就聯系起來。

????“致謝成功的第一要義是要真正了解將要致謝的對象或團隊，”《工作場合致謝：如何說謝謝，給予獎勵，發揮團隊最大潛能》（Gratitude at Work: How to Say Thank You, Give Kudos, and Get the Best From Those You Lead）一書的作者阿普麗爾·凱利說。

????馬薩諸塞州伯靈頓Davies Murphy Group的市場營銷負責人瑞貝卡·布羅因和她的團隊最近被叫到公司外開會，到了后發現是在知名海鮮餐廳Legal Seafood喝紅酒吃大餐，每位團隊成員還獲得了一張公司給的500美元借記卡。“這樣的致謝真是太棒了：誠摯，親切，又令人驚喜，”布羅因回憶道，她說團隊里的10位女士都喜歡購物和外出吃飯。“這真是想到我們心里去了。最后，我們都把錢花在了百貨商店諾德斯特龍（Nordstrom）的售鞋區，沒一個人抱怨。”

????無獨有偶，房地產和稅務規劃公司的老板約翰·麥克馬納斯考慮如何感謝公司的一名財富顧問時，決定送這位員工去魁北克一家具有歐洲古典風格的酒店Le Chateau Frontenac度假。這位雇員的孩子們與麥克馬納斯的孩子們年齡相仿，而麥克馬納斯的孩子們非常喜歡曾經的加拿大度假。而且，這位雇員是在一個同樣引人入勝的歐洲古城布拉格遇見了她生于歐洲的丈夫。麥克馬納斯說：“這種聯系對她有更深的意義。”

說同樣的語言

????懷特的合著者加瑞·查普曼指出，有五種“愛的語言”，分別是言語、時間、禮物、為之效勞和身體接觸，不同的語言適用于不同的人。正如人們在人際關系中傾向于一種或兩種語言，在工作場合也一樣。

????Employee appreciation may seem common in corporate America. Almost 80% of employers offer some kind of employee recognition program, according to the Society for Human Resource Management.

????Yet workers feel unappreciated -- a whopping 71% are disengaged, according to Gallup. What gives?

????"When I talk to workers about their employee recognition programs, there's a lot of disdain and cynicism," says Paul White, a Wichita-based psychologist and co-author of?The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace. "They distinguish between authentic appreciation and going through the motions."

????Employers and managers may think they're showing gratitude for the contributions of their staff, but more often than not, those thanks are not heard or believed. If you're trying to bridge the gap this Thanksgiving, you can start with these steps recommended by White and other experts on workplace thanks.

Make it personal

????Employers like to brag about the $25 gift cards they give to their employees, or staff celebrations and team-building exercises. But for a thank-you to be perceived as meaningful, it should be specifically connected to the recipient, her preferences, and her accomplishments.

????"The number one thing that will make you successful in gratitude is really knowing the person or team that's going to be thanked," says April Kelly, Omaha-based author of?Gratitude at Work: How to Say Thank You, Give Kudos, and Get the Best From Those You Lead.

????Rebecca Blouin, marketing lead at Burlington, Mass.-based Davies Murphy Group, recently received a summons to an off-site meeting with her team, only to show up to a wine-fueled lunch at Legal Seafood and a $500 debit card for each team member, on the company. "It was a great gesture: heartfelt, kind, and a good surprise," Blouin recalls, noting that the 10 women on the team all love shopping and dining. "It was spot-on for the group of people. We all ended up in Nordstrom's at the shoe area and there was not one person complaining."

????Similarly, when John McManus was looking for a way to thank one of the wealth advisors at his estate and tax-planning firm for pushing through a recent deluge of work, he decided on a trip to Le Chateau Frontenac, a Quebec hotel that captures the Old World charm of Europe. The employee has children the same age as McManus', who loved their own Canadian vacation, and she met her Europe-born husband in a similarly charming venue: Prague. "That connection had even more meaning to her," McManus says.

Speak the same language

????White's co-author Gary Chapman identified five "love languages" that resonate differently with different individuals: words, time, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. In the same way people prefer one or two language types in personal relationships, they do in the workplace as well.