????記住，尋求輔導并不意味著自曝弱點。如果你需要在一個領域內改進，你的同事們很可能也知道這個問題。伯曼說：“人們通常不愿讓別人知道自己在尋求幫助。但技能不足對于別人并不是什么秘密，只當事人自己把它當個秘密。”

????對于輔導期的長短有個預期是件好事，比如6個月或12個月。“輔導只是一座橋，不是一輩子的陪伴，”梅爾奇說。“即便一直接受輔導，也會出現新的問題。”

沒辦法或不愿意投入必要的努力

????與請營養教練或健身教練一樣，你必須得自己付出相當的努力，才能達到目標。教練是合作伙伴，而不是保姆。

????“教練有責任幫助推動這層關系，”哥倫比亞特區一位專門輔導女性律師和會計師的教練琳達?默庫瑞表示。

????有時，默庫瑞會遇到一些希望找到晉升捷徑的人們，這些人一旦知道首先要做的是了解自己，自己的技能、成就、失敗、關系和目標等等，然后需要與教練一起堅持新的道路，他們就會退出接受輔導。畢竟，持續的改變需要付出時間和努力。

????“如果你希望外部環境發生變化，內在必須要先變化，”與很多女性高管合作過的亞特蘭大教練漢娜?伊南表示。“如果你只是改變行為，一旦面臨壓力，就會退回到原來老路。”

????譯者：楊智

????Remember, you are not revealing a fatal weakness by seeking coaching. If there's an area where you need to improve, your colleagues most likely are aware of the problem. "People get very self-conscious about anyone knowing that they're getting help. The skill deficit is not a secret to anybody but them," Berman says.

????It's healthy to have an expectation for the length of the coaching engagement, such as six months or 12 months. "It's a bridge; it's not a lifetime retainer," Melcher says. "Even if you keep on with your coach, there should be new issues."

You can't or won't put in the necessary work

????Just as with a nutrition or fitness coach, you have to expect to do significant work yourself to achieve your goals. The coach is a partner, not a caretaker.

????"The coachee has a responsibility to help drive this relationship," says Linda Mercurio, a Washington D.C.-area coach who specializes in female lawyers and accountants.

????Mercurio sometimes meets with people who want a simple road map to a promotion, and who back out of coaching once they realize the work they'll need to do first in understanding themselves, their skills, accomplishments, failures, relationships, and goals -- and then sticking to a new course with a coach. Lasting change takes time and effort, after all.

????"If you want any change to happen on the outside, something must shift within you," says Henna Inam, an Atlanta-based coach who works with a lot of executive women. "If you just address the behaviors, people revert back to old behaviors under stress."