????她屁股大，所以我叫她大屁股。

????—饒舌歌手2 Chainz, Birthday Song

????前幾天，有位朋友問我，CEO是天生的，還是后天造就的？我說：“這就像是問Jolly Ranchers糖是長出來的，還是造出來的。CEO是一項極端不符合人天性的工作?！闭f完這句話，看到他臉上驚詫的表情，我意識到這一點或許并沒有像我想得那么顯而易見。

????經過一番思考后，我意識到大多數人的想法正好相反，他們認為CEO是天生，而不是靠后天造就。我經常聽到其他風投資本家和董事會成員對某位創始人迅速做出評估，得出結論：他/她不是“當CEO的料”。我不知道他們怎么能這么快就得出結論。公司創始人通常需要多年的時間來發展CEO技能，在我看來，成敗難料。

????體育運動中有些項目可以相對較快地學會，比如短跑。因為跑步是一種本能，只需多加訓練。但像拳擊等其他運動就需要較長的時間來掌握，因為它們有很多有違本能的動作。比方說，在拳擊運動中后退時，很重要的一點是要先抬起后面那只腳。如果一個人用本能的方式后退，先抬起前面那只腳，很可能會被打暈。學習這樣有違本能的后退方式，直到習慣自如，必須要有大量的練習。如果當了CEO后，還是以自己感覺最習慣的方式行事，可能也會被打暈。

????做CEO，很多行事都會違背天生的傾向。從人類學角度，做事討人喜歡符合人類的天性。因為它能增加一個人生存的機會。但要做好CEO，要贏得長期的推崇，必須做很多短期內會讓人們失望的事情，不符合天性的事情。

????事實上，即便是一些最基本的CEO行事方式在一開始也會感覺不自然。如果你的搭檔給你講了一個好笑的故事，要對他/她的表現進行評估就會讓人感覺有點怪。下面這么說完全不符合我們的天性：“天哪，我覺得這個故事太爛了。原本或許是個好故事，但你的鋪墊一點都不吸引人，最后抖包袱時又搞砸了。我建議你回去重新編排，明天再給我講一遍?！边@么做太怪了，但對人們的表現進行評估、同時不斷給予反饋正是一名CEO必須要做的事情。如果不這么做，那么一些更復雜的事情，比如寫考核評語、劃定范圍、處理企業政治、確定薪酬和開除員工等工作就更不可能完成，或者即便完成，也做得很差。

????給出這樣的反饋有違天性，但同樣有違天性的管理技能正是建立于這樣的基石上。一個人如何能掌握這些有違天性的技能？

三明治批評法

????對于新手，一種常用而有效的反饋技巧是資深經理們所謂的“三明治批評法”。這個技巧在經典管理書籍《一分鐘經理》（The One Minute Manager）中有精彩的描述。它的基本理念是，如果你能在一開始先表揚（第一片面包），人們就會更容易接受你的反饋；接著給出令人不快的信息（批評）；最后提醒他們你有多看重他們的優點（第二片面包）。三明治批評法的一大好處是反饋重在對事不對人，因為你在一開始就明確了一點，你很看重他/她。這是一個重要的反饋理念。

????三明治批評法對低級員工管用，但它也面臨以下挑戰：

????She got a big booty so I call her Big Booty.

????—2 Chainz, Birthday Song

????The other day, a friend of mine asked me whether CEOs were born or made. I said, "That's kind of like asking if Jolly Ranchers are grown or made. CEO is a very unnatural job." After saying it and seeing the surprised look on his face, I realized that perhaps it wasn't as obvious as I'd originally thought.

????After thinking further, I realized that most people actually assume the opposite—CEOs are born not made. I often listen as other Venture Capitalists and board members rapidly evaluate a founder and conclude that she's not "CEO material". I am not sure how they figure these things out so fast. It generally takes years for a founder to develop the CEO skill set and it is usually extremely difficult for me to tell whether or not she will make it.

????In athletics, some things like becoming a sprinter can be learned relatively quickly because they take a natural motion and refine it. Others, like boxing, take much longer to master, because they require lots of unnatural motions. For example, when going backwards in boxing, it's critically important to pick up your back foot first, because if you get hit while walking backwards the natural way—picking up your front foot first—often leads to getting knocked cold. Learning to make this unnatural motion feel natural takes a great deal of practice. If you do what feels most natural as a CEO, then you may also get knocked cold.

????Being CEO requires lots of unnatural motion. From an anthropological standpoint, it is natural to do things that make people like you. It enhances your chances for survival. Yet to be a good CEO, in order to be liked in the long run, you must do many things that will upset people in the short run. Unnatural things.

????In fact, even the most basic CEO building blocks will feel unnatural at first. If your buddy tells you a funny story, it would feel quite weird to evaluate her performance. It would be totally unnatural to say: "Gee, I thought that story really sucked. It had potential, but you were underwhelming on the build up then you totally flubbed the punch line. I suggest that you go back, rework it and present it to me again tomorrow." Doing so would be quite bizarre, but evaluating people's performances and constantly giving feedback is precisely what a CEO must do. If she doesn't, then the more complex motions such as writing reviews, taking away territory, handling politics, setting compensation and firing people will be either impossible or handled rather poorly.

????Giving feedback turns out to be the unnatural atomic building block atop which the unnatural skill set of the management gets built. But how does one master the unnatural?

The Shit Sandwich

????A popular and sometimes effective technique for feedback beginners is something that experienced managers call The Shit Sandwich. The technique is marvelously described in the classic management text, The One Minute Manager. The basic idea is that people open up to feedback far more if you start by complimenting them (slice of bread #1), then you give them the difficult message (the shit), then wrap up by reminding them how much you value their strengths (slice of bread #2). The shit sandwich also has the positive side effect of focusing the feedback on the behavior rather than the person, because you establish up front that you really value the person. This is a key concept in giving feedback.

????The shit sandwich can work well with junior employees, but has the following challenges: