一天晚上，我想窩在沙發里看本書。但首先，我決定把家里收拾一遍。然后，我在廚房柜臺處理了一堆郵件。當我拿起一枚曲別針的時候，才發現雜物抽屜一團糟，于是我又整理了一下抽屜。一個半小時后，看到一切又變得井井有條，我感到心滿意足，但我已經精疲力盡，不想再看書。

我休息得還不錯，因為我正在度假，但在日常生活中，我的任務清單總是排在第一位。亞特蘭大壓力研究所和用心生活網的創始人兼CEO凱瑟琳·赫爾博士表示：“在工作驅動的文化中，我們認為放松是非生產性活動 — 放松往往變成了完成任務的一種獎勵。”問題是，任務是永無休止的。我們的時間排得滿滿的，任務還在不斷增加，所以休閑時間變成了家務時間，也就不足為奇。

但放松休息并不是非生產性的活動；專家表示，放松能讓人保持健康和快樂。研究顯示，經常釋放壓力有助于避免心臟病和肥胖，可以緩解抑郁，甚至能提高對感冒的免疫力。另外，當你內心平靜時，你能找到更明智、更高效的方法完成任務，從而讓你有更多時間去放松。以下是真正放松的一些策略和靈感。

首先，放松身體

如果你的身體總是處在緊張狀態，你便很難進入禪境。麻省總醫院本森-亨利身心醫學研究所所長格雷戈里·弗里基奧內教授表示：“當你的生活中充滿了需求，你的身體就會釋放出腎上腺素和皮質醇，增加能量消耗，結果導致肌肉緊張。”嘗試漸進式肌肉放松法：拉緊腳趾的肌肉至少5秒鐘，放松30秒，重復這個過程，一直到頸部和頭部的肌肉群。

在通勤期間調整狀態

《從內到外管理時間》一書的作者、工作效率專家朱莉·摩根斯頓表示：“如果你毫無壓力地走進家門，這會讓你快速開始享受晚上的剩余時光。”你乘坐公共交通回家？不要理會電子郵件提醒，嘗試一款冥想應用，如Insight Timer、Calm或Stop, Breathe & Think等。“給朋友或愛人打電話，聽聽音樂或者其他能打斷正常思路的活動，都能帶來幫助，”摩根斯頓說道。“一位客戶發現在下班回家的路上確定放松計劃，是一種有效的方式。例如，他會告訴自己：‘我想跟愛人一起做飯，讓某某人做家務，不過我會用一種溫和的方式提出要求。’”

退出Twitter

美國心理學會的2017年《美國的壓力》報告顯示，人們查看社交媒體賬戶、短信和電子郵件越頻繁，他們的壓力水平就會越高。皮尤研究中心的研究還發現了Facebook的另外一個負面影響：女性因為知道了朋友的不幸遭遇，尤其容易承受社交媒體帶來的壓力。

“馴服”任務制造者

頻繁收拾屋子或庭院的強烈欲望，可能是對周圍混亂的一種響應。據華盛頓智庫新美國下屬的Better Life Lab的主任、《不堪重負》一書的作者布利基德·舒爾特表示：“如果你在工作中備受約束，在家中較為放松，將物品整理得井井有條，似乎可以讓你恢復平衡狀態。”所有東西都在這里了，是的。要想控制生活失控的感覺，有一種明智的方式：不要到處記錄你的任務，如日歷、記事本、電子郵件、便條貼，還有大腦的記憶里。摩根斯頓表示：“確定一個可靠的系統，可以幫助你關掉腦子里的待辦事項顯示系統。”

問自己下面這個問題

哈佛大學心理學教授、正念專家艾琳·蘭格博士表示：“當人們假設如果完不成待辦事項，他們的世界就會崩塌時，他們應該反問自己。”思考一下：如果你今天晚上沒有整理房間，最糟糕的后果會是什么？你今天晚上做的哪件事會讓你在五年后回想起來更快樂，整理了衣櫥還是與朋友一起喝咖啡？確實如此。

列一份快樂清單

諷刺的是：即便有自由時間從天而降，你可能也不知道該用它來做什么（所以你才會在全食超市里漫無目的地閑逛）。想想哪些事情可以讓你真正放松，然后在紙上或手機里列一份清單。舒爾特說道：“我們經常在業余時間里不知所措，因為我們試圖找一件最適合的事情去做 — 所以，如果你所列的清單中的某件事情引不起你的興趣，那就選擇其他事情！”

進行散步冥想

不是坐著修禪？摩根斯頓建議的這種練習，能夠讓你專注于當下，暫時停止思考： 在散步的時候，調動你的感官。注意你的所看（外形有趣的建筑）、所聽（樹葉沙沙響聲）、所感（微風吹拂面龐）。如果身處大自然，還有額外的好處；根據《美國國家科學院院刊》上發表的一項研究，在自然環境下比在市區更有可能減少沉思。

發揮創造力

它可以幫你進入心流狀態，在這種狀態下，你會全身心沉浸在所做的事情里，其他一切都變成了背景。嘗試一下編織，或者風靡一時的成人涂色書，并且要控制住想同時再看一遍《大小謊言》的沖動。

保持探索欲

小時候，我們經常可以在后院里花幾個小時到處探索。而成年后，我們變得墨守成規，忘記了探索發現的樂趣。赫爾表示：“探索與制定待辦事項清單是截然相反的，后者讓你知道了事情的發展方向。”選擇一條新鮮的徒步旅行路線或參觀一座新的小鎮。

不要給自己找臺階

經常與愛人或朋友一起參加有趣的活動，例如每月打一次壁球，或參加烹飪課。舒爾特說道：“你更有可能遵守對他人的承諾。因為這讓你別無選擇，只能去放松！”少數真正讓我放松的一個時刻：每兩個月一次的女孩游戲夜，我們一起玩Scattergories游戲，放肆的吃零食，瘋狂地大笑。但還是要感謝這些靈感，這讓我再也不用等幾周時間才能享受一次真正的放松。

別做這些事情

一個人的天堂可能是別人的煉獄。所以，如果你不喜歡這些似乎能讓人樂而忘憂的活動，別灰心 — 你并不孤單。

1. 園藝：雜草！昆蟲！高溫！天哪！

2. 在床上吃早餐：如果你總是擔心橙汁灑在杯子上，這件事并沒有想象中那么美好。

3. 洗澡：理論上會令人愉悅，但實際上，水會很快變冷，我們會被瓷磚上的霉菌分散注意力，而且經常會把書掉到水里。

4. 按摩：揉捏緊張的肌肉？有人或許覺得這是一種享受，但有人會覺得很痛苦。

5. 購物：只有更衣室里照明異常充足的時候，我們才會覺得購物是一種享受。

6. 在星期天早上讀報紙：感謝政治讓我血壓升高。（財富中文網）

本文最初發表于Health.com。

譯者：劉進龍/汪皓

The other night, I meant to chill on the couch with a book. First, though, I decided to neaten up the family room. On a roll, I then tackled a pile of mail on the kitchen counter. When I went to grab a paper clip, I noticed our junk drawer was a disaster, so I organized that. An hour and a half later, I felt content to see everything in its place…and too zonked to read.

I relax just fine when I’m away on vacation, but in daily life, my to-dos come first. “In our work-driven culture, we perceive relaxation as nonproductive—it often becomes a reward for getting stuff done,” says Kathleen Hall, PhD, founder and CEO of the Stress Institute in Atlanta and the Mindful Living Network. Trouble is, the tasks are never-ending (hashtag Sisyphus). Add in a jam-packed schedule and it’s no wonder leisure time morphs into chore time.

Yet kicking back is hardly an unproductive activity; experts say that it keeps us healthy and happy. And research shows that regular de-stressing can help ward off heart disease and obesity, act as a buffer against depression, and even boost immunity against colds. Plus, when you’re calm, you perform tasks smarter and more efficiently, leaving you with time to—wait for it—relax. Check out these strategies and inspiration for R in R: relaxing in reality.

First, relax your body

It’s hard to sink into a state of zen if you’re one big ball of knots. “When you live a life full of demands, your body regularly releases adrenaline and cortisol, increasing energy expenditure that can result in muscle tension,” says Gregory Fricchione, MD, director of the Benson-Henry Institute for Mind Body Medicine at Massachusetts General Hospital. Try progressive muscle relaxation: Tense the muscles in your toes for at least five seconds, relax for 30, and repeat, working your way through the muscle groups up to your neck and head.

Downshift during your commute

“If you walk in the door decompressed, it gives you a jump-start for the rest of the evening,” says productivity expert Julie Morgenstern, author of Time Management from the Inside Out. Do you take public transportation home? Resist the siren call of email and try a meditation app, such as Insight Timer, Calm, or Stop, Breathe & Think . “Call a friend or loved one, listen to music—any activity that breaks you out of your normal train of thought should help,” says Morgenstern. “One client found it effective to set his relaxation intentions on his way home from work. He’d tell himself, ‘I want to enjoy cooking with my partner and make sure so-and-so does homework, but I’ll ask in a gentle way,’ and so on.”

Log off Twitter

The more often people check social media accounts, texts, and email, the higher their level of stress, revealed the American Psychological Association’s 2017 Stress in America report. Findings from the Pew Research Center underline another negative Facebook effect: Women are particularly vulnerable to stress from social media due to being aware of lousy stuff happening to friends.

Tame your taskmaker

An urge to continually tidy up the house or yard may be a response to chaos all around you. According to Brigid Schulte, director of the Better Life Lab at the Washington, D.C., think tank New America and author of Overwhelmed , “When you’re strapped at work and stretched at home, having things in order can seemingly restore equilibrium.” All together now: Yes. This. One sane way to tame that life-is-out-of-control feeling: Quit scattering tasks among your calendar, notepads, emails, sticky notes, and memory. Says Morgenstern, “Decide on a single, reliable system, and it will help turn off the ticker tape of to-dos in your brain.”

Ask yourself this

“When people assume that if they don’t get to their to-dos, their world will fall apart, that needs to be questioned,” says mindfulness expert Ellen Langer, PhD, professor of psychology at Harvard University. Reason with yourself: What’s the worst that will happen if you don’t declutter tonight? Five years from now, will you be happier that you excavated the coat closet or that you had coffee with a friend? Exactly.

Make a joy list

Oh, the irony: Even when free time falls into your lap, you may have no clue what to do with it (which is how you end up roaming around Whole Foods). Think about what truly mellows you out, then make a list on paper or in your phone. Notes Schulte, “We often get stuck during leisure time because we try to choose the exact perfect thing to do—so if one thing on your list doesn’t appeal, pick something else!”

Do a walking meditation

Not the sit-and-zen-out type? Here’s an exercise from Morgenstern that still gets you in the moment and out of your head: As you stroll, engage your senses. Note what you see (buildings with interesting shapes), what you hear (the rustling of leaves), and what you feel (the breeze on your face). Bonus points if you’re out in nature; it’s more likely to decrease rumination than being in an urban area, per a study published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

Get creative

It can help you achieve flow, a state in which you’re so mindfully immersed in what you’re doing that all else recedes into the background. Try your hand at knitting or check out one of those ubiquitous adult coloring books—and resist the urge to simultaneously rewatch Big Little Lies.

Wonder and wander

As kids, we’d lose ourselves for hours poking around in our backyards. As adults, we get stuck in routines and miss out on how captivating discovery can be. “Exploring is the opposite of making to-do lists, where you know exactly where things are headed,” says Hall. Hit a fresh hiking trail or visit a new town.

Don’t give yourself an out

Commit to a regular enjoyable activity, like a monthly racquetball game or cooking class, with your partner or friends. “You’re more likely to follow through on a commitment to someone else than to yourself,” notes Schulte. “It leaves you no choice but to relax!” One of the rare times when I truly unwind: my bimonthly girls’ game night, where we play Scattergories, snack extensively, and laugh our heads off. But thanks to all this inspiration, I no longer have to wait weeks to relax for real.

Don’t do these things

One person’s nirvana is another person’s noooo. If you don’t enjoy these supposedly blissful activities, take heart—you’re not alone.

1. Gardening: Weeds! Bugs! Heat! Ugh!

2. Breakfast in bed:Not so chill when we have to worry about spilling OJ all over the comforter.

3. Taking a bath: Lovely in theory, but in reality, the water gets cold fast, we get distracted by mold on the tile, and the book always falls in.

4. Massages: Kneading tense muscles? Pleasant to some, painful to the rest of us.

5. Shopping: Enjoyable only until we hit the overly lit dressing rooms.

6. Reading the paper on Sunday morning: Thanks, politics, for the blood pressure spike.

This article originally appeared on Health.com