決定2：想清楚這一切的意義所在。

如何看待自己的人生，本質上與發生的事件、個人的財政狀況或者人生際遇都沒有關系。生活質量是由你所賦予事物的意義決定的。

你下意識地賦予各種事情以意義，但是大多數時間里卻并不清楚這一行為有何影響。

當某些事情打亂了你的生活（車禍、疾病、失業等），你會認為這是人生的終點，還是另一個起點？

如果有人與你爭吵，這個人是在羞辱你、教導你還是真正關心你？

如果遭受嚴重的挫折，是上帝在懲罰你，還是在鍛煉你？或者說，有沒有可能這是上帝送給你的禮物？

你的生活會接納你所賦予的一切意義。每個意義帶來一份獨特的感受或情緒，而你的生活質量也和你的情緒息息相關。

在研討會上，我總是喜歡問觀眾，“你們身邊是否有熟識的人在服用抗抑郁藥卻依然郁郁寡歡？”一般來說，85%到90%的與會觀眾會舉手。

這怎么可能？藥物應當改善人們的情緒。事實是，抗抑郁藥的標簽上警告，副作用是可能有自殺念頭。

但是，無論一個人吃多少藥，如果他總是沉迷于自己在生活中無法控制和缺失的那些部分，他很容易就會感到絕望。如果他滋生了“人生沒有意義”的想法，那么無論什么抗抑郁藥物，都很難幫他持續擺脫這種情緒。

還是這個人，如果他能夠找到一個新的意義、一個活下去的理由，或者接受一切是必然的觀念，那么他將變得非常強大，無堅不摧。

當人們調整其慣性思維的焦點和賦予事物的意義時，生活將不再有桎梏。關注點的變化和意義的調整可以在短時間內改變一個人的生物化學。

所以，控制自己，并始終牢記：意義等于情緒，情緒等于生活。有意識地作出明智的選擇。無論任何事件，都從中找到的積極意義，那么，你馬上就能擁有最寶貴的財富。

一旦你在心里創建了一個意義，就相當于創建了一種情緒，而這個情緒可以將你引向第三個決定：

決定3：你要做什么？

你所處的情緒狀態主宰著你的行動。當你憤怒的時候，你的行為會和你感到開心或震怒時大相徑庭。

如果你希望養成某些行為，最快的方法就是改變你的專注點，將找到更鼓舞人的意義。

同樣處于憤怒狀態的兩個人會有不同的行為。有些人會退縮，另外一些人會努力前進。

有些人以安靜的方式表達憤怒，有些人則選擇大聲說出來，或者用暴力的方式來表達。還有一些人會壓制憤怒，尋找以退為進的機會，從而重新占據上風，甚至進行報復。

這些模式從何而來？人們通常按照自己尊敬、欣賞和喜愛的人塑造自己的行為模式。

那些讓你沮喪或憤怒的人呢？你通常會排斥他們的方式。

然而很多時候，你可能發現自己陷入的模式是年輕時經常看到而且并不喜歡的。

當你感到沮喪、憤怒、悲傷或孤單的時候，了解自己的模式是非常有用的。如果你不了解，就無法改變它。

現在你已經認識到這三個決定的力量，開始尋找你生活中最欣賞的榜樣吧。我保證，那些待人熱情的人，和那些總是與人爭吵或爭斗的人相比，一定會有不同的關注點，并且給人際關系中的挑戰賦予完全不同的意義。

這并非難事。如果你認識到人們在做出這三個決定時的區別，你就會知道如何幫助自己在生活的任何領域創造出長期的積極轉變。（財富中文網）

本文改編自托尼?羅賓斯的新書：《財富主宰命運：簡單7步實現財務自由》。

譯者：南風

審校：Patti

Decision 2: Figure out, What does this all mean?

Ultimately, how you feel about your life has nothing to do with the events in it or with your financial condition or what has (or hasn’t) happened to you. The quality of your life is controlled by the meaning you give these things.

Most of the time you may be unaware of the effect of your unconscious mind in assigning meaning to life’s events.

When something happens that disrupts your life (a car accident, a health issue, a job loss), do you tend to think that this is the end or the beginning?

If someone confronts you, is that person insulting you, coaching you or truly caring for you?

Does a devastating problem mean that God is punishing you or challenging you? Or is it possible that this problem is a gift from God?

Your life takes on whatever meaning you give it. With each meaning comes a unique feeling or emotion and the quality of your life involves where you live emotionally.

I always ask during my seminars, “How many of you know someone who is on antidepressants and still depressed?” Typically 85 percent to 90 percent of those assembled raise their hands.

How is this possible? The drugs should make people feel better. It’s true that antidepressants do come with labels warning that suicidal thoughts are a possible side effect.

But no matter how much a person drugs himself, if he constantly focuses on what he can’t control in life and what’s missing, he won’t find it hard to despair. If he adds to that a meaning like “life is not worth living,” that’s an emotional cocktail that no antidepressant can consistently overcome.

Yet if that same person can arrive at a new meaning, a reason to live or a belief that all this was meant to be, then he will be stronger than anything that ever happened to him.

When people shift their habitual focus and meanings, there’s no limit on what life can become. A change of focus and a shift in meaning can literally alter someone’s biochemistry in minutes.

So take control and always remember: Meaning equals emotion and emotion equals life. Choose consciously and wisely. Find an empowering meaning in any event, and wealth in its deepest sense will be yours today.

Once you create a meaning in your mind, it creates an emotion, and that emotion leads to a state for making your third decision:

Decision 3: What will you do?

The actions you take are powerfully shaped by the emotional state you’re in. If you’re angry, you’re going to behave quite differently than if you’re feeling playful or outrageous.

If you want to shape your actions, the fastest way is to change what you focus on and shift the meaning to be something more empowering.

Two people who are angry will behave differently. Some pull back. Others push through.

Some individuals express anger quietly. Others do so loudly or violently. Yet others suppress it only to look for a passive-aggressive opportunity to regain the upper hand or even exact revenge.

Where do these patterns come from? People tend to model their behavior on those they respect, enjoy and love.

The people who frustrated or angered you? You often reject their approaches.

Yet far too often you may find yourself falling back into patterns you witnessed over and over again in your youth and were displeased by.

It’s very useful for you to become aware of your patterns when you are frustrated, angry or sad or feel lonely. You can’t change your patterns if you’re not aware of them.

Now that you’re aware of the power of these three decisions, start looking for role models who are experiencing what you want out of life. I promise you that those who have passionate relationships have a totally different focus and arrive at totally different meanings for the challenges in relationships than people who are constantly bickering or fighting.

It’s not rocket science. If you become aware of the differences in how people approach these three decisions, you’ll have a pathway to help you create a permanent positive change in any area of life.