????我在工作中為亞太區企業高層在管理方面提供了相當數量的指導。首先，我會問他們一些問題，其中一個問題是：“你和老板的關系怎么樣？”聽到這個問題后，很多人都不知道應該哭還是應該笑。通常，我會得到這樣一些答案：

????? 我的老板……從來都沒有給過我時間，也幾乎沒有真正聽過我的想法。

????? 嗯……我的老板只會告訴我要做什么，然后就等著出現奇跡，對失誤的容忍度很低。我不是非常信任他。

????? 老板……總是對的，國王當然總是穿著衣服的嘛。誰告訴他真相，他就會開槍打死誰。干嘛要自尋煩惱？

????? 我的老板……從不把我當人看。我就是一頭給他干臟活的驢子。

????? 跟老板接觸的越少，我就越快樂。

????天啊。我服務的這些人都是為了讓我幫他們構建更好的職業生涯，或者實現夢想什么的。因此，在很多情況下，我的第一項工作都是讓他們獲得“向上管理”能力。原因是，說真的，無論你們認為自己的老板有多差勁，他們也都是人，都有弱點和盲點，而且對大多數老板來說，下屬都有可能跟他們建立更好的工作關系。如果不行，那我們也總是可以“用腳投票”，就像許多人做的那樣。實際上，80%以上的離職人員都說“老板”是他們離去的主要原因。老板們要注意啦！

????下面是我的向上管理“11條秘訣”。上下級關系是雙向的，因此請花一點兒時間來考慮一下，你們可以通過什么樣的做法來影響自己和老板的關系。

????1.上級是人。沒錯，千真萬確。他們絕對是人，而且和你們一樣有長處也有弱點。他們有情感，有壓力，有責任，有家庭，有顧慮，該有的都有。他們會很忙，會犯錯誤，并不總是能看清問題，也不會對什么都能熟練駕馭，而且他們看問題的角度確實也跟別人一樣。讓我們歡迎他們這些普通人吧。那么，大家就要盡量理解他們，不要輕易對他們下定論，必要的時候要原諒他們，同時盡可能地為他們提供支持。幫助上級取得成功是向上管理的最有效策略之一。首先要把老板“放在人的位置上”，把他們看成有價值的伙伴。你們不也希望老板這么對待你嗎？

????2. 訂立個人合同。所有關系都受到個人協議框架的制約。人們之間存在上下級關系時，要保持信任，就必須有清晰的協議和預期，而且雙方都有責任履行協議。直接去找你的上司，要求預留一小時來“訂立個人合同”。在這期間，雙方都針對這樣的上下級關系把“自己希望對方做什么和不希望對方做什么”寫在一張紙上。然后雙方把這張紙交換一下，就需要調整的內容進行協商，跟對方確認自己理解無誤。接下來，把這份合同打印出來，把它交給你的上司，同時自己也保留一份。這份個人合同并非一成不變，隨時都可以根據需要更新。這種簡單的做法已經改變了許多上司和下屬之間的關系。

????3. 負責任。上司和下屬都有責任履行雙方簽訂的合同（做出的承諾）。就是這樣，沒有例外。要明確的是，人們都認為負責任是雙向的。如果在履行協議時出了問題，信任就會遭到破壞，誠信就會受到質疑。因此，在這樣的環境下，各方都可以有禮貌地直接向相關人員提出自己的顧慮，這一點非常重要。如果不以負責任為前提，信任就會受到威脅，誤解和矛盾就在所難免。因此，一定要對自己的承諾負責，而且在你們覺得有人沒有履行承諾時要讓別人知道。信譽是掙來的，老板也是這樣……他們不能僅僅因為職位更高就不受約束。

????4.員工的權力。員工有權期望上級做到：

????? 相互接觸時尊重對方，讓對方有尊嚴

????? 及時提供反饋、指導和渠道

????? 明確業績目標，在恰當的時候予以更新

????? 通過培訓和指導為下屬實現業績目標提供支持

????? 工作表現好時予以表揚；需要改進時提出具體的反饋意見

????? 相信下屬有能力開展工作并承擔重大責任

????? 愿意傾聽下屬的顧慮和想法

????? 分配工作時明確時間表和工作職責

????In my work, I do a fair amount of executive coaching for senior leaders in the Asia-Pacific region. One of the first questions I like to ask is “how is your relationship with your boss?” Many people I work with aren’t sure whether to laugh or cry when they hear this question! Typically I hear things like this:

????? My boss…never has time for me and seldom really listens to my perspective.

????? Um…my boss, just tells me what to do, expects miracles and has a low tolerance for mistakes. I don’t trust him very much.

????? The boss…is always right, and the Emperor of course is fully clothed at all times. If I bring him the truth, he shoots the messenger. Why bother?

????? My boss…cares nothing for me as a person. I’m just a donkey to do his dirty work.

????? The less I interact with my boss the happier I am.

????Oh my. And these are people who have engaged my services to help build a better career, achieve their dreams and so on. So, most often, we start by developing their “Managing Up” muscles. Because, in truth, no matter how bad you think your boss is, they are all human, have their weaknesses and blind spots and it IS possible to build a better working relationship with most of them. If not, well, we can always “vote with our feet” as many people do. In fact more than 80% of people leaving organizations cite “my boss” as the main reason for leaving. Bosses…take heed!

????So here are my “11 Secrets” of Managing Up. It’s a two-way street so please take a moment to consider what YOU can do to influence your relationship with the boss.

????1. Supervisors are Human Beings. Yes, it’s true. They are very human and they have all the strengths and weaknesses that you do. They have emotions, stress, responsibilities, families, worries, concerns and so on. They get busy, make mistakes, don’t always see clearly, aren’t always skillful in everything and do always see things the way others do. Welcome to Earth! So, always treat them to your best understanding, give them the benefit of the doubt, forgive them when needed and support them in any way you can. Helping your supervisor be successful is one of the most effective strategies for Managing Up. Start by “humanizing” your boss and seeing them as a worthwhile partner. Isn’t that what you want them to do for you?

????2. Personal Contracting. All relationships are managed in a framework of personal agreements. When people are in a reporting relationship, maintaining trust is all about having clear agreements and expectations and holding each other accountable for keeping the agreements. Approach your supervisor directly and request to schedule a one-hour “personal contracting” session. Each party then writes down on paper “what they want and don’t want” from the other person in this reporting relationship. Then, exchange papers and negotiate anything that needs to be refined, check for understanding, etc. Afterwards, type up the contract, send it to your supervisor and keep a copy on file. Your personal contract is a “living document” that can be updated whenever needed. This single step has transformed many, many relationships.

????3. Being Accountable. We are all accountable to each other for keeping the agreements (promises) we make. Full stop, no exceptions. To be clear: accountability is understood as a two-way street. When there is a breakdown in keeping an agreement, trust is damaged, questions of sincerity arise. So it is very important that in such situations all parties are free to voice their concerns directly and respectfully with those involved. Without this assumption of accountability, trust is threatened and it is difficult to avoid misunderstandings and conflict. So: hold yourself accountable for your promises and let others know when you feel a promise has not been kept. Credibility is always earned, and that includes the boss…they do not get a free pass just because they are more senior.

????4. Employee’s Bill of Rights. From my supervisor I have a right to expect:

????? Respect and dignity in each interaction

????? Timely feedback, guidance, access

????? Clear performance goals, updated whenever appropriate

????? Coaching and mentoring in support of my performance goals

????? Acknowledgement of a job well done; specific feedback when improvement is needed

????? Trust in my ability to perform and take on large responsibilities

????? Willingness to listen to my concerns and perspectives

????? Clear time frames and scope of work when delegating