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????親愛的安妮：我的朋友發給我一篇您寫的專欄文章，文中提到了如何搞定專橫老板的五條建議。不過，我的頂頭上司情況更加惡劣。兩個月之前，我才開始從事這份工作（這是我大學畢業之后第一份“真正意義上的”正式工作），但從一開始，我的上司就變成了我的噩夢。他總是對我做的事情吹毛求疵，冷嘲熱諷。而且，他大約每周都失控一次，對我和其他同事歇底斯里地吼叫。在此我不想提到這些同事的名字。 ????我還發現上司有另外一個毛病：他經常會在一項工作任務的最后關頭壓縮我們的時間，導致我們無法彌補失去的時間。之后，他就會向上級抱怨我們如何“懶散”，而那些高層好像都覺得他神通廣大。我非常希望能在這家公司取得成功，但我不知道我還能忍受多久。我是否應該跟他的上司談談？因為他的上司看上去比較通情達理。如果不能的話，那我該怎么辦？—— 受傷的新丁 ????親愛的新丁：聽起來你的上司是典型的“職場惡霸”。所謂“職場惡霸”，是指不斷對別人進行“言語虐待、威脅、恐嚇或侮辱”的人，并且會“暗中破壞工作進度”（他們會突然改變某項工作的截止時間）。 ????這個定義來自于職場暴力學會（Workplace Bullying Institute），該學會是一家非營利性研究培訓機構。其實，職場暴力現象非常普遍：去年WBI對4,210名美國成年人進行的調查顯示，美國就業人口中約有50%稱自己在工作中受到過欺侮，或者見到過其他人受到不公平待遇。 ????上個月，由求職網站CareerBuilders組織的另外一份調查也顯示，美國員工中約有27%在工作中受到過欺侮。但研究顯示，大多數人對于自己遭受的職場暴力都“選擇了沉默”。 ????WBI研究顯示，約有四分之三（72%）的職場惡霸都是公司領導，而他們之所以沒有受到懲罰，是因為在美國許多州，虐待員工并不違反法律，除非這種虐待明顯涉及年齡、性別、種族或宗教信仰，所以公司的人力資源和法律部對他們的行為也就視而不見了。不過，這種情況正在逐步改變。到目前為止，共有21個州通過了反職場暴力法，另有11個州也正在醞釀出臺類似法律。 ????但即便身處職場暴力被法律禁止的地區，起訴上司或許也并不是最明智的決定。向他的上級投訴也不見得有效。因為，正如WBI會長加里?納米對惡霸上司一針見血的描繪：他們擅長媚上欺下，并且小心翼翼，絞盡腦汁給上級留下好印象。 ????納米表示：“混進公司的職場惡棍總是把自己裝扮成行動高效、雄心勃勃的能人。”換句話說，在高層看來，你的重要性可能比不上這些人。因此，2007年WBI的調查顯示，當員工投訴受到上司不公正待遇時，53%的雇主選擇視而不見。更糟糕的是，在這些投訴案例中，有24%的投訴者慘遭解雇。 ????那你該怎么辦呢？首先，既然你希望能在這家公司取得成功，留意一下目前或者未來是否有機會逃脫他的魔爪。你希望去公司哪個部門，就要多結識這個部門的同事，并關注職位空缺。你不會一直在這個家伙手底下工作，明白了這一點，容忍他的所作所為也就變得稍微容易點了。 ????納米參與撰寫了《向職場暴力說不：避免傷害，維護尊嚴》（The Bully at Work: What You Can Do to Stop the Hurt and Reclaim Your Dignity on the Job）一書。對于如何避免身體和心理受到惡霸上司的傷害，他提出了三條建議： ????1. 練習屏蔽怒氣。要在上司歇斯底里地怒吼時保持冷靜，一種方法是在心里反復默念一句話：“不要生氣，我犯不上為這事生氣。”納米表示，另外一種方法很簡單，就是“想著惡霸上司外貌中最可笑的部分。”盯著上司愚蠢的發型或者肥碩的耳朵，“可以幫你保持冷靜”，因為“你根本沒拿他當回事兒。” ????2.核實真實情況。納米強調道，對于“如何貶低下屬的能力和價值”，惡霸上司們駕輕就熟。“如果上司老是貶低下屬的工作和價值，下屬也很難不信以為真。” ????他認為，應付這種情況需要借助好朋友或公司中有威望的同盟，“他們可以協助確定這些批評是否對你的工作有益。哪些部分是有效的，哪些是錯誤的、惡意的，甚至純粹只是在發牢騷。” ????3. 尋求內部同盟。你前面提到，有幾個同事也是這位上司間歇性暴脾氣的受害者，因此不妨試著征求他們對這個問題的看法。“看他們是否愿意與你群策群力，想出辦法來改善目前的處境，而不是各自為戰，獨自面對上司的欺侮。” ????但納米警告，即便一群志同道合的受壓迫者團結起來，可能也無法改變惡霸上司的行為。畢竟，到目前為止，這個惡棍還安然無恙地穩坐在自己的位置上。不過，在你們擺脫這個家伙之前，至少你們可以為彼此提供足夠的精神支持。 ????祝好運！ ????反饋：你有沒有遇到過惡霸上司？你是如何對付他們的？歡迎評論。 ????（翻譯 劉進龍） |
????Dear Annie: A friend of mine sent me your column about five ways to cope with an autocratic boss, but I'm facing a problem with my immediate supervisor that is actually quite a bit worse. Since I started this job about two months ago (it's my first "real" job out of college), my boss has become a nightmare. He constantly snipes at everything I do, makes sarcastic remarks, and about once a week has a totally out-of-control screaming fit where he calls me, and a couple of my coworkers, names I don't even want to repeat. ????Another thing I've discovered: After cutting our time short to complete assignments, which he always does at the last minute so there's no way to make up the lost time, he complains to higher-ups -- who all seem to think he walks on water -- about how "lazy" we are. I really want to succeed at this company, but I'm not sure how long I can stand it. Should I talk to the person above him, who seems like a reasonable human being? If not, what can I do? — Ulcer in the Making ????Dear U.M.: Your boss sounds like a classic workplace bully, defined as someone who repeatedly inflicts on others "verbal abuse, threatening conduct, intimidation or humiliation" as well as "sabotage that prevents work from getting done" (those suddenly altered deadlines). ????That definition comes from the Workplace Bullying Institute, a nonprofit research and training organization. Alas, it's not an unusual problem: About 50% of the U.S. workforce reports either having been bullied by someone at work or having witnessed someone else being mistreated, according to a survey of 4,210 American adults that WBI conducted last year. ????Another poll last month, by job site CareerBuilders, found that 27% of U.S. employees have experienced some form of bullying at work. Most "never confronted or reported" the bully, the study says. ????The WBI research shows that about three-quarters (72%) of bullies are bosses, and one reason they get away with it is that, in most states, abusing employees is not illegal unless the mistreatment is demonstrably based on age, sex, race, or religion, so it flies under the radar of corporate human resources and legal departments. That is slowly changing. So far, 21 states have passed anti-workplace-bullying laws, and 11 more are considering following suit. ????Even if you live in a state where bullying is illegal now, suing your employer is probably not your best move. Neither is complaining about your boss to the person above him. For one thing, your boss fits a profile that WBI chief Gary Namie recognizes all too well: The supervisor who is adept at kissing up and kicking down, as the saying goes, and is careful to make a great impression on higher-ups. ????"Bullies sneak into companies disguised as high performers and desirably ambitious go-getters," Namie says. In other words, you're likely to be perceived as far more dispensable than they are. That's probably why, a 2007 WBI survey shows, 53% of employers did nothing when employees reported a bullying boss. In 24% of cases, it was even worse: The person who complained got fired. ????So what can you do? First, since you want to succeed at this company, start looking around to see if opportunities exist, or may soon exist, that would put you out of this person's reach. Get to know as many people as you can in other areas of the company where you might want to work, and keep an eye out for job openings. Just knowing that you won't be working for this boss forever can make it a little easier to put up with him. ????Namie, who is co-author of useful book called The Bully at Work: What You Can Do to Stop the Hurt and Reclaim Your Dignity on the Job, offers three other suggestions for protecting your psyche -- and your stomach -- from your bullying boss: ????1. Practice tuning out the tantrums. One way to keep your cool when your boss starts screaming is to practice repeating a mantra in your head like, "Ignore the anger. It's not yours." Another approach is to "simply think about the one aspect of the bully's physical appearance you find most awkward," Namie says. Focusing on the boss's goofy haircut or oversized ears "can help you to stay calm" because "you're not taking him too seriously." ????2. Get a reality check. Bullies have a knack for knowing exactly "how to make you feel incompetent or unworthy," Namie notes. "When confronted by a constant critic who picks apart both your work and your worthiness, it's hard not to believe he's right." ????To counteract that, he says, you need a good friend or respected ally at work "who could help you determine whether any of the criticism is useful to your work. Which parts are valid, and which are incorrect, misinformed, malicious, or just plain whiny?" ????3. Enlist supporters. Since you mention that a few of your coworkers have also been on the receiving end of your boss's screaming fits, try sounding them out about the problem, Namie suggests. "Are they willing to brainstorm with you about possible ways to improve the situation, without anyone having to take on the boss alone?" ????Even as a group of like-minded fellow sufferers, Namie warns, you probably can't transform a bully's behavior. After all, it's clearly been working pretty well for him so far. But at the very least, you can provide each other with enough moral support to last until you no longer work for this bozo. ????Good luck. ????Talkback: Have you ever worked for a boss who was a bully? How did you cope? Leave a comment below. |
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