謝天謝地，《Getting There》這本書出版后反響很好，大家對我的采訪對象說的話非常感興趣。但到目前為止，我最常碰到的問題是：你是怎么認識這些人的？

說起來這并不容易，也不可能一蹴而就。下文列舉的，是我所有的人際關系技巧。你可以利用這些技巧去認識那些貌似“不可能”高攀的人，不管他們是你潛在的老板、投資人、客戶還是其他什么大人物。

1、搞清狀況。

大多數杰出人物都極其忙碌。他們每天都會接到許多許多的邀請：采訪、演講、談生意、搞慈善等等，更不用說還有事業、家庭和個人生活在等著他們。他們根本沒有時間接受所有的請求，所以就算拒絕你，也是人之常情。

如果你自己本身不是一個名人，或者不能提供讓他們非常感興趣的東西，那么，你就得接受他們不會特別重視你的事實——不管這些請求在你自己看來有多重要。

2、拋棄自尊。

你可能會被忽視或拒絕很多次，切勿因事非人，也不要讓它摧毀你的信心。

記住，你可以牽著馬去飲水，但最大的障礙是要讓馬知道面前有水喝。

3、你必須讓你的請求獲得決策者的注意。

如果你有任何用得上的關系，別忘了充分利用。這也未必非得是一個特別“硬”的關系。

我是這樣聯系上CBS公司總裁兼CEO萊斯利?穆恩維斯的：我閨密的老公有一個朋友曾在CBS工作過，也愿意介紹我認識穆恩斯的助理。這個助理每天都跟著穆恩斯工作，足以確保他看見了我的請求。

如果你沒有這種關系（大多數情況下我也沒有），以下幾種方法可以讓你的請求得到注意：

4、讓自己盡可能有人情味兒——越顯得沒有人情味兒，越容易被拒絕。

當面提出請求，是最好的方法，這樣可以給他留下一個活生生的印象。（在看不見對方表情的電子郵件或微博上拒絕人，要比當面拒絕容易得多。）如果你有辦法直接接近你的目標，而且用一種看起來不像是個跟蹤狂的方式，那就容易成功得多，比如在一場宴會或活動上。但切記，千萬別喋喋不休，或占據對方太多時間。我通常只是簡單介紹自己，用一兩句話進行試探，然后問如果我想采訪他的話需要具體聯系誰。一般情況下，這位名人會給我一個具體負責人的名字，然后我就會盡快聯系他。

比如，我曾經給藝術家杰夫?昆斯的辦公室發送過幾次采訪請求，但都沒有獲得回復。后來，我恰好在紐約一場活動上看到了昆斯。我直接走向他，告訴他我在寫一本什么樣的新書，曾經聯系他的辦公室，卻一直沒有回音，所以我需要知道到底應該聯系誰。昆斯給了我一個人的名字，然后第二天早上我直接給那個人寫了封郵件說：“杰夫與我昨晚碰了面，我們短暫探討了他參與我的新書的可能性，他要求我與你聯系具體細節?！?/p>

聯系名廚丹尼爾?布魯德、企業家沃倫?巴菲特的方式也是大同小異。

5、如果你無法直接見到本人（大多數時候都是見不到的），那么你可嘗試聯系你能夠接觸到的人（比如采訪目標的公關負責人或助理）。

記得要直接稱呼對方的名字，因為這樣會營造更個人化的聯系。如果你不知道那個人的名字就去問。一封發給有名有姓之人的郵件，要比一封發給“致有關人士”的郵件更受待見。

我是這樣聯系上諾貝爾和平獎得主穆罕默德?尤納斯的：我曾經與一位女士吃飯，她恰好是尤納斯女兒的朋友。她試圖幫我聯系尤納斯的辦公室，但是沒能成功。后來我們又商議了另一個計劃，她告訴我，尤納斯正好要在城里某家酒店做一個演講。于是，我埋伏在酒店大廳里，等到他的演講結束后，我迎上前去和他搭話，邊說邊陪他攔出租車。然后，我迅速地拍了一張他的照片，以備他最終同意參與我的新書（畢竟，他住在孟加拉）。為了讓他同意接受電話采訪，我追了他整整一年半的時間，期間我周而復始地聯系他的兩個辦公室的5名助理。我知道所有助理的名字，他們也認識我。

6、如果一個人不能給你一句“Yes”，就永遠不接受他說的“No”。

我的朋友（史蒂夫?柯恩）早先對我說了這番話，我一直把它牢記在心。重點是，不要讓一名員工嘴里說出的“No”毀了你的自信。前門鎖上了就走后門，后門鎖上了走旁門，如果旁門也鎖上了就爬窗戶。如果窗戶也爬不進去，那就等一等，然后再試試前門。這次總有人會回答你的！

所謂前門/后門/旁門/窗戶，其實是指那些能幫助你和采訪對象搭上線的人，比如公關負責人、中間人、員工、跟他共過事的人，或者是他的朋友的朋友的朋友……

我很少只是聯系一個員工或只走一扇門，如果某個人一再忽略或拒絕我，我就會轉而走另一個人的門路，并且裝作什么都沒發生的樣子——我絕不會提起我之前曾被忽略或拒絕過。（很多時候你的采訪目標甚至根本就不知道你的請求——往往是被他的某位下屬徑直拒絕。）

7、就按字面意思去理解對方的回復。

如果你沒有從對方那里聽到確切的“No”，就再嘗試一次。比如，如果對方回答說“很不幸，他目前沒有辦法參與”，就要按字面意識理解這個“目前”，稍后再次跟進。

8、永遠友好和善，讓人樂意相處

面對陌生人“擺臉色”，沒有人會給出比較好的回應。那種行為只會令你進一步受到忽視，或者被永遠拒之門外。（甚至有可能給你帶來壞名聲。）

如果你覺得對方最終的確堅定地拒絕了你，也要做到優雅地消失，并且感謝對方曾考慮過你的提議。

9、不要向對方表示他曾有任何忽視你的行為。

比如不要抱怨你已經打過5次電話了。如果某個人忽略了你，你給他發跟進郵件時，不要在下面附上你上次發送的舊郵件。你可以發一封新郵件，也可以把上次的郵件再發一遍，總之裝作你從來沒有被忽略過。

這樣一來，如果對方選擇回信的話，你至少已經給人家留了面子，而且對方也就不必就之前忽略你的事再編任何借口了。

10、信件內容要簡潔明了。

要迅速切入要點。記住，大家都很忙，沒時間揣測你的真實意圖。

11、如果獲得了某人的回復，就緊緊抓住那個人，不要讓他跑了。

我是在1993年夏天學到這個教訓的，當時我還是一名房地產中介。有同行教導我，如果客戶看中了房子，在交定金之前，千萬不能讓他們脫離你的視線。原因很簡單，如果你讓他們走了，“明天再來”，那么他們就會重新考慮自己的決定。所以我基本上會陪著客戶去銀行，等他們取出定金。搞人際關系也是同樣的道理。如果有人回復你的請求，一定要迅速做出回應。你要讓他們在忘記你這個人或忙別的事之前，先著手處理你的要求。

12、只要有機會，就不惜代價地盡快抓住它。

這意味著，如果你的目標人士說從哪天到哪天有空，就一定要占用他的第一天——不管你自己本來的安排是什么。

13、想盡一切辦法擠到門里。

我對巴菲特的采訪原定只有10分鐘，為了這10分鐘，我特地從紐約飛到奧馬哈。

在我見到巴菲特之前，他不想讓我拍攝他的照片。我告訴他，我需要拍一張他的照片，但我向他保證，這不會占用他給我的采訪時間。我在電子郵件中開玩笑道：“……哪怕是一張你從我跟前奪路而逃的照片?！?/p>

最后，我剛剛走進巴菲特的辦公室，就立即給他拍了一張照片，我們的采訪整個持續了大約半小時。

最難搞定的嘉賓之一是建筑師弗蘭克?蓋里。我按照他公司官網的電子郵件盲目地發送了兩封采訪請求，好消息是我并沒有被完全置之不理，壞消息是兩次都被拒絕了。

幾個月后，我發現一個朋友的爸爸的新女朋友（請把這重關系看兩遍，充分認識到任何關系都可能是好關系）認識他，并且愿意替我轉達我的請求。于是她把我的請求轉給了蓋里，結果兩次都遭到無視！

幾個月后，我覺得我應該再試一次（畢竟電子郵件是免費的，而且你永遠不知道會發生什么！），于是我又向他公司的郵箱地址發了一封郵件，奇跡發生了——我收到了一封回復！我只能想，是不是他的公司那天來了一名新的助理。

我立即給她回了郵件，問了她的名字，然后問她能否給她發一些我的作品拿給蓋里看看。俗話說趁熱打鐵，當時我雖然不在家，但我讓替我養貓的人連夜把材料快遞給了她。

然后我給她的辦公室打了電話，確保她收到了郵件。記住，通過電話交流會多有幾分人情味兒。她把我的材料拿給了蓋里，蓋里說可以，然后我們就預約了采訪！

不過這并不是故事的結局。蓋里整整一年都沒有接受我的采訪（我在他那兒的份量就是這么低）。當時我像皮球一樣被他的4個助理踢來踢去（每次我打電話跟進，都有一個新人問我是誰，蓋里曾經答應過我什么），但最終我還是獲得了采訪他的機會，你可以在《Getting There》中看到相關內容。

順便說一句，當我最終與蓋里會面的時候，他壓根不知道我曾經纏著他或他的辦公室那么久。（事實上我的采訪對象沒一個知道。）

14、堅持就有回報。

如果說我從這本新書的采訪歷程中學到了什么，那就是，決心和堅持最終總會有回報。伊恩?施拉格在《Getting there》中的一段話再恰當不過地表達了這個道理。他說：“最終，人和人之間的區別是很小的。那些最想成功的人，那些最百折不撓地追求的人，就是最終獲得成功的人?！?/p>

如果你對于想追求的事物真正懷有激情，那么追求任何目標都會容易得多，正是這種激情給予了你堅持的力量。以我為例，我真心相信書中的觀點，并深信讀者們會從采訪對象的談話中獲益。我也相信，我的采訪對象們會對最終的作品感到滿意。如果沒有這種信心，我就不可能克服創作和采訪過程中遭遇的種種冷眼和拒絕，也不會百折不撓，一次又一次地聯系他們。（財富中文網）

本文作者吉莉安?佐伊?西格爾是《Getting There：A book of Mentors》一書的作者。

譯者：樸成奎

審校：任文科

Getting There has, thankfully, been well received and people are incredibly interested in what my subjects have to say — but, by far, the most common question I get is: How did you manage to land these people??!!

Well, it wasn’t quick or easy, but laid out below are all my networking techniques — a blueprint you can use for landing your own “impossible” connections, whether they be potential employers, investors, customers, or some other great get.

First, understand the lay of the land:

Most luminaries are extremely busy. They receive multiple requests every day for interviews, speaking engagements, new business opportunities, charity functions, you name it, not to mention the obligations they have with their careers, families, and personal lives. Understandably, there are simply not enough hours in the day for them to say yes to everything. And they definitely don’t.

If you are not a big name or don’t have something major to offer, accept that you will not be at the top of anyone’s priority list — no matter how important your request might seem to you.

Next, toss your ego out the window.

You will be ignored and rejected a lot, and you can’t take it personally or allow it to depress or discourage you.

Know that you can lead a horse to water, but the biggest hurdle is making sure the horse knows that the water is in front of its face.

You must get your request noticed by the decision maker.

If you have any connection at all, use it.Your connection doesn’t need to be a big one.

Here’s how I contacted Leslie Moonves, President and CEO of CBS: My best friend’s husband had a friend who used to work at CBS and was willing to put me in touch with Moonves’s assistant. The assistant, who works closely with him every day, made sure he saw my request.

If you don’t have a connection (and most often I didn’t), here are some ways to get your request noticed:

Make yourself as human as possible — the less human you appear, the easier it is for someone to reject you.

Asking in person is the best method; that way it’s obvious you’re human. (It’s a lot easier to say no to a faceless email or tweet.) If you can figure out a way to run into your target in a not stalkerish way, try to do so — for example at a party or event. But don’t be annoying or take up too much of your target’s time. I usually introduce myself, give a one or two sentence pitch, and then ask whom I should contact with more details. The luminary usually gives me the name of a point person; then I contact that person ASAP.

Example: I had sent several requests to the artist Jeff Koons’ office with no response. I then happened to see Koons at an art event in NYC. I went right up to him, told him about my book and that I had already contacted his office to no avail — so I needed to know exactly who to reach out to. Koons gave me a name and the next morning I wrote to that person with something like, “Jeff and I met last night. We briefly discussed his participation in my upcoming book and he told me to contact you with the details.”

I got the chef Daniel Boulud and Warren Buffett to participate in a similar way.

If you can’t ask in person — and most times you can’t — try to connect to the person you can reach (your target’s publicist, assistant, etc.).

Always use the name of the person you are corresponding with since it makes for a more personal connection. If you don’t have that person’s name, ask for it. An email to a specific person instead of one addressed “to whom it may concern” is a bit harder for the recipient to ignore.

Here’s how I got Nobel Peace Prize recipient Muhammad Yunus to participate: I once had lunch with a woman who is a friend of Yunus’s daughter. She tried to contact his office on my behalf to make the introduction but was ignored. When I checked in with her to come up with a Plan B, she told me Yunus happened to be in town giving a speech at a hotel. I lurked in the lobby until he was done, made my pitch while following him out to get a taxi, and snapped his photo in case he eventually agreed to participate in Getting There (after all, he lives in Bangladesh.) I then pursued him for over a year and a half to get a phone interview — all the while bouncing among about five different assistants at two different offices. I know all those assistants’ names and they got to know mine.

Never accept “no” from someone who can’t give you a “yes.”

My friend (Steve Cohen!) told me this early on, and it really stuck with me. The point is, don’t let a “no” from one employee deter you. If the front door is locked, try the back door; if the back door is locked, try the side door; if the side door is locked, try crawling in a window. If you can’t do that, wait a while then try the front door again. Someone might answer this time!

What does this front door/side door/window bit really mean? I am talking about ways in — avenues — like a publicist, an agent, an employee, someone who once did business with the person, a friend of a friend of a friend….

I rarely dealt with just one employee and one door. When someone ignored me repeatedly or rejected me, I switched to someone else and acted like nothing had ever happened — I never mentioned I was previously ignored or rejected. (A lot of times your target never even saw your request — an employee rejected it instead.)

Take responses literally.

If you don’t get a definitive “no” from someone, try again. For example, if you get an, “Unfortunately, he can’t participate in that now,” take “now” literally and follow up later.

Never be anything but friendly and pleasant to deal with.

No one reacts well to “attitude” from strangers. That kind of behavior will only get you ignored even more — or axed for good. (It may also earn you a bad reputation.)

If you do get what you consider to be a final rejection, lose graciously and thank the person for considering your request.

Never rub anyone’s nose in the fact that they’re ignoring you.

For example, don’t complain that you called five times already. If you send a follow-up email to someone that has been ignoring you, don’t forward the old email. Send a new email (or send your prior email) like it has never been sent before.

This allows your contact to save face if they do choose to respond — and lets that person respond without having to make any excuses for why they previously ignored you.

Keep your correspondence simple and clear.

Get to your point quickly. Remember how busy everyone is; no one has time to sift through paragraphs to figure out what your email is about.

Once you get a response from someone, grab hold of that person and don’t let go.

I learned this lesson the summer of 1993, when I worked as a real estate broker. When clients decided they wanted to rent an apartment I had just shown them, I was instructed to not to let them out of my sight until they put down a deposit. Why? Simple: if I let them walk away and “get back to me tomorrow,” they might reconsider their decision. So I literally accompanied my clients to the bank while they took out cash for their deposit.?The same is true with networking.

If someone responds to your request, act fast and respond immediately. You need to get the ball rolling before they forget about you and move on to something else.

Take whatever you can get as soon as you can get it.

That means accepting the very first day the person is available — regardless of your schedule.

Get your foot in the door any way you can.

My interview with Warren Buffett was scheduled for 10 minutes. I traveled from NYC to Omaha for it.

Before we met Warren said he didn’t want me to take his photo. I told him I needed to take it but assured him it wouldn’t cut into my allotted time with him, joking by email, “… even if it ends up being a photo of you running away from me.”

In the end, I took Warren’s photo as soon as I walked in his office door and our interview actually lasted for about an hour. Check his entire essay out here.

One of the most challenging Getting There subjects for me to land was the architect Frank Gehry. I sent a couple of blind requests to the email address listed on his company’s website. The good news is that I was not totally ignored; the bad news is that I was rejected both times.

A few months later I found out my friend’s father’s new girlfriend (read that relationship twice and realize any connection can be a good connection) knew Frank and was willing to pass along my request. She sent him my request twice and was totally ignored both times!

A few months later I figured I would try again (after all, emails are free, and ya never know!), so I sent yet another email to his company’s email address and a miracle happened — I got a response! I can only assume a new assistant was on duty that day.

I immediately emailed her back, got her name, and asked if I could send her some samples of my work to show Gehry. Again, strike while the iron is hot: I was away at the time so I had my cat sitter overnight the material to her.

I called the office to follow up and make sure that she got it; remember, speaking on the phone makes the connection more personal. She showed my material to Gehry, he said yes, and we set up an appointment!

But that’s not the end of the story. Gehry then proceeded to cancel on me for a full year (I was that low on his priority list). During that time I bounced between 4 of his assistants (it seemed like every time I called to follow up a new person needed to be filled in on who I was and what Gehry had agreed to), but I eventually got some time with him and he is now in Getting There!

By the way: when I finally met with Gehry,Fra he had absolutely no idea I had ever been hounding him or his office. (In fact, none of my subjects did.)

Persistence pays off.

If I learned one lesson from the people who I interviewed for Getting There it is that determination and resilience eventually pay off. Of all my subjects, I think that Ian Schrager sums up this sentiment best in his Getting There essay. He says, “In the end, there’s so little that separates people. Those who want success the most and are relentless about pursuing it are the ones who get it.”

Pursuing any goal is much easier if you are truly passionate about what you want; that’s what gives you the fuel to persevere. In my case, I really believed in the concept of my book and felt that readers would truly benefit from what my subjects could share. I also felt sure my subjects would be happy with the finished product; if I hadn’t felt that way it would have been extremely difficult to overcome all the rejection and keep approaching people over and over again.

Gillian Zoe Segal is the author of Getting There: A Book of Mentors.