????而當(dāng)你和“知道自己在做什么”的人一起工作時，提建議之前最好先措辭嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)?shù)乇頁P(yáng)。你隨時都可能打擊到對方的自尊。在這種情況下，最直接的建設(shè)性意見并非理想選擇，比如“那樣做不對，你應(yīng)該這樣做”；事實(shí)上，這樣的建議肯定會遭到對方的抵制。

????那些能力足夠，但遠(yuǎn)未達(dá)到精通的人，對批評最為敏感。要向比上不足比下有余的人提供反饋（更不用說在項(xiàng)目最后四分之一階段提供反饋時），你最好用一點(diǎn)外交手腕。

????我漸漸發(fā)現(xiàn)，許多有創(chuàng)造力的人都非常善于自我批評。作家喬納森?弗蘭岑曾說過，他的書是“充滿讓人后悔的句子和措辭的雷區(qū)”。作家約翰?班維爾形容多年后重新閱讀自己的第一本小說，“是一次可怕的經(jīng)歷……我不敢重新閱讀自己的作品。我從生理上不能承受……我閉著一只眼睛，手指張開讀完了那本小說。”雖然我沒有機(jī)會接觸這些作家，但我也從其他同樣才華橫溢的作家身上聽聞過這種現(xiàn)象，這幫助我在指導(dǎo)那些正努力創(chuàng)作好作品的人時更為寬容。

????如果你認(rèn)為反饋者的工作就是打擊創(chuàng)作者、讓他們服氣，那你就想錯了，有用的反饋絕不是靠批評累積起來的。創(chuàng)作之不易已經(jīng)足以讓人體會到自己的卑微了。

????你得到的最有用的反饋是什么？它為什么有用？歡迎與我們分享你的故事，我們期待你能提供更多細(xì)節(jié)。也歡迎大家分享那些毫無幫助或粗魯?shù)姆答仭Ｕ埻ㄟ^電子郵件[email protected]與本文作者摩根?赫斯特分享你的任何想法。

????摩根?赫斯特的“開卷有益”系列，主要探討如何通過最簡單、最有效的方法，重新考慮和調(diào)整我們的職場行為。（財(cái)富中文網(wǎng)）

????譯者：劉進(jìn)龍/汪皓

????審校：任文科

????When working with someone who already “knows what they’re doing,” however, you have to coat your advice with careful praise. The potential to bruise an ego is everywhere. The quickest constructive feedback—that’s not quite right, do this instead—is not ideal in such cases; in fact, it’s almost certain to invite pushback.

????People who are competent but not masterful tend to be the most sensitive to criticism. Anyone giving feedback to someone who’s good but not great, never mind in the fourth quarter of their project timeline, had better be a master of diplomacy.

????Over time, I’ve discovered that many creative people are highly self-critical. The author Jonathan Franzen once said his books were “minefields of sentences and word choices I regret.” The author John Banville described rereading his first novel many years later as “an appalling experience… I can’t bear to revisit my own work. I physically can’t bear it… I went through [the novel] with one eye shut, reading through splayed fingers.” Knowing and experiencing this phenomenon—not alongside these writers but equally talented ones—helped me speak more generously to people sweating from the effort of trying to make something new and good.

????Useful feedback never piles on criticism under the misguided idea that it’s the feedback giver’s job to keep creators humble. The effort involved in creation can be humbling enough.

????What was the most helpful piece of feedback you have ever received? Why was it so useful? Tell us your stories, the more detailed the better. Stories of spectacularly unhelpful or boorish feedback are also welcome. Please write to Megan Hustad at [email protected] with any you’d care to share.

????The Useful series by Megan Hustad will explore the simplest, most efficient ways to reconsider and adjust how we behave in our professional lives.