????詹姆斯?劉的回答，游戲公司BoxCat創(chuàng)始人

????我放棄了工資達(dá)六位數(shù)的外派管理工作。當(dāng)時(shí)我不僅有每天的日常生活補(bǔ)助、公費(fèi)公寓、一間大辦公室，還有幾名下屬可供差遣。但我寧愿陪在家人身邊。在成長過程中，生活告訴我，我必須有耀眼的成就，似乎這就是人生和宇宙存在的終極目標(biāo)。于是，為了成功，我曾經(jīng)一直堅(jiān)持不懈，努力工作，愿意付出任何代價(jià)。

????27歲那年，我獨(dú)坐在一棟商住綜合樓的22層，下面便是香港會展中心。我的住宿費(fèi)用由公司支付。我有按國際標(biāo)準(zhǔn)發(fā)放的日常生活補(bǔ)貼，足夠我享受任何我想要的美食。

????我的辦公室在三星（Samsung）大廈的21層，可以一覽維多利亞港的美景。我手下還有三個(gè)人可供差遣，我可以讓他們幫我去沖咖啡（如果我想的話），或者把我的所有任務(wù)全部分配給他們完成。我們的公司文化與結(jié)構(gòu)非常有趣。我當(dāng)時(shí)有多個(gè)頭銜：分公司經(jīng)理、項(xiàng)目經(jīng)理、技術(shù)總監(jiān)、首席工程師和系統(tǒng)架構(gòu)師等。

????但如果沒有人分享，賺再多錢又有什么意義？我有工資和獎(jiǎng)金。吃穿住行都不需要自己掏錢。如果我想要任何設(shè)備或技術(shù)，幾封電子郵件就可以搞定。

????在“漫長的成功之路上”，我忽視了友情、親情，甚至失去了愛情。沒有人能夠聽我吐露心聲。

????因?yàn)闄?quán)力等級的存在，與團(tuán)隊(duì)成員說心事會非常奇怪。

????“你不想聽我個(gè)人的問題？！你被炒了。”

????當(dāng)然，這只是開玩笑，但也凸顯出我當(dāng)時(shí)那種尷尬的處境。我能想象，我只會得到一些“惟命是從”的回答，只會聽到我想要聽的話，而不是我需要聽的話。去酒吧或夜店，同樣讓我感覺膚淺，甚至讓我感到更加孤獨(dú)。

????“什么？你也不愿意聽？你也被炒了！”

????而這種情況也顯示出，掌握權(quán)力會讓你的大腦陷入混亂。這是一次危險(xiǎn)的旅程，有人會被權(quán)力沖昏頭腦。我也不例外。不論我向誰求助，得到的只是一些膚淺的回應(yīng)。那么，既然擁有了金錢、權(quán)力、成功、尊敬和聲望，為什么我就是不幸福呢？

????此時(shí)我才意識到，金錢、成功和權(quán)力并沒有人們宣揚(yáng)的那么美好。但除非我擁有了這一切，否則我永遠(yuǎn)也不會理解這種觀點(diǎn)。孤單。沉默。孤獨(dú)。縱有財(cái)富千千萬，無人聽我訴衷腸。

????這種身心疲憊的感覺持續(xù)了幾個(gè)月后，我接到了弟弟的電話。當(dāng)時(shí)是香港時(shí)間凌晨4點(diǎn)。

????Answer by James Liu, founder at BoxCat

????I left a six-figure, ex-pat, management position with daily per-diem, paid for apartment, an entire office, and several employees I was in charge of. I would rather be close to family. While growing up, life gave me the impression that I had to be sky-high successful. As if it were the ultimate attainment for life and the universe. So I went for it, worked hard for it, and did whatever it took to succeed.

????At 27, I was sitting alone on the 22nd floor of a residential complex right above the Hong Kong convention center. My housing was paid for by the company. I had international per-diem, which could cover any food I might desire.

????I had an office in the Samsung building on the 21st floor that had a view of Victoria Harbor. I had three other people I could boss around, ask them to fetch me coffee (if I wanted too), or completely delegate all my tasks to them. We had an interesting company culture and structure. I had several titles at that time: branch manager, project manager, technical lead, principle engineer and systems architect.

????But what’s the point of making a ton of money if you have no one to share it with? I had salary and bonus. I had no need to spend my own money on shelter, food or travel. Any equipment or technology needed was just a few emails away from acquiring them.

????During my “l(fā)ong road to success,” I had neglected my friends, my family, and even lost girlfriends. I had very few people I could talk to.

????Talking to a team member was strange because of the power hierarchy.

????“You won’t listen to my personal problems?! You’re fired!”

????Just kidding of course, but it highlights the awkwardness. I imagine I would just get the “yes-man” approach of what I wanted to hear, not what I needed to hear. Hitting up a bar or nightclub also felt superficial and gave an even greater sense of loneliness.

????“What? You won’t listen either? You’re fired too!”

????But it highlights how being in power can mess with your head. It’s a dangerous trip and some become drunk with power. I am no exception. Everywhere I turned, I’d find only a superficial replacement. So, money, power, success, respect, and even prestige, why am I not happy?

????This is when I realized that money, success and power isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. But it was also a perspective I would not have understood unless I had sat there. Alone. Mute. Lonely. With a pile of money I could cry in, but never get a response.

????Later on, a few months after these deep unnerving feelings, I got a phone call from my little brother. It was 4 AM in Hong Kong.