????4. 將導(dǎo)師關(guān)系視為單向的關(guān)系

????導(dǎo)師關(guān)系中最常見的錯(cuò)誤想法是把它看成一種交易或單向的關(guān)系。實(shí)際上，導(dǎo)師也可以從自己指導(dǎo)的人身上學(xué)到很多。

????寶潔公司（Procter & Gamble Co.）市場營銷與品牌運(yùn)營副總裁喬迪?艾倫說：“我感覺，我的收獲幾乎與付出同樣多?！卑瑐愊矚g和自己指導(dǎo)的人討論移動(dòng)科技與社交媒體的發(fā)展?！八麄兘o了我許多能量。他們很年輕，心懷抱負(fù)，比同齡時(shí)的我掌握了更多技能。”

????5. 強(qiáng)行建立導(dǎo)師關(guān)系

????許多人容易直接要求職業(yè)偶像成為自己的導(dǎo)師。這是錯(cuò)誤的做法。導(dǎo)師關(guān)系應(yīng)該自然而然地形成。

????首先，有些人并不喜歡被人直接地要求作為導(dǎo)師。如果確實(shí)有必要直白地提出要求，在提出問題之前要先對(duì)對(duì)方有所了解。

????市場營銷公司Hit Big的CEO妮可?洛夫托斯說：“導(dǎo)師關(guān)系的建立應(yīng)該是自然而然發(fā)展而成的。我并不喜歡直接提出要求?！彼硎咀约壕褪峭ㄟ^午餐會(huì)、交流會(huì)逐漸與導(dǎo)師建立起關(guān)系的。

????尋找導(dǎo)師時(shí)，可以詢問自己的熟人和同事，是否有人具備你正在尋找的行業(yè)知識(shí)、個(gè)性特點(diǎn)或人脈。查克瑞說：“必須主動(dòng)走出去，相比直接問其他人：‘我在尋找一位導(dǎo)師。你有認(rèn)識(shí)的嗎？’對(duì)人們說：‘我想學(xué)習(xí)x、y和z。我優(yōu)先考慮的條件是哪些。’更容易得到滿意的答案?！?/p>

????梅爾徹同意她的觀點(diǎn)。他說：“要廣撒網(wǎng)。不要問：‘您愿意做我的導(dǎo)師嗎？’你可以這樣說：‘跟您見面我很高興。與您的交流讓我受益匪淺。希望在未來幾個(gè)月能再次見到您?！?/p>

????一個(gè)人在職業(yè)發(fā)展的不同時(shí)期會(huì)有不同的導(dǎo)師，甚至?xí)瑫r(shí)有多位導(dǎo)師，如果你能夠意識(shí)到這一點(diǎn)，也許可以幫助消除壓力?；蛟S一個(gè)人可以指導(dǎo)你如何處理工作生活平衡問題，另一個(gè)人則可能給你介紹重要的潛在客戶。

????查克瑞說：“人一生不可能只有一位導(dǎo)師?！保ㄘ?cái)富中文網(wǎng)）

????譯者：劉進(jìn)龍/汪皓

????4. Thinking it's a one-way relationship

????One of the most common misconceptions in mentoring is that it's a transaction or a one-direction relationship. Mentors can learn a lot from the people they advise.

????"I feel like I get at least as much as I give," says Jodi Allen, a marketing and brand operations vice president at Procter & Gamble Co. who enjoys discussing developments in mobile tech and social media with people she mentors. "They give me a huge amount of energy. They're young and ambitious and so much more skilled than I was at that point in my life."

????5. Forcing the relationship

????It's tempting to rush right out and ask your professional hero to be your mentor. That would be a mistake. Such a relationship has to develop naturally.

????First of all, some people hate to be explicitly asked to be a mentor. Get to know someone before you pop the question, if indeed you need to ask outright.

????"It has to be such an organic thing that I feel uncomfortable asking," says Nicole Loftus, CEO of marketing firm Hit Big. She says her mentor relationships generally develop out of lunch meetings or conversations.

????When looking for a mentor, ask your contacts and colleagues for someone with the kind of industry expertise, personal characteristics, or connections that you're seeking. "You have to go out and be able to say to people, 'I want to learn x, y, and z and here are my priorities,' " says Zachary, "It's much easier to get a good answer from someone other than saying, 'I'm looking for a mentor, who do you know?' "

????Melcher agrees. "You have to cast a wide net," he says. "Instead of saying, 'Will you be my mentor?' you could say, 'I have really enjoyed meeting you. I've learned so much from this conversation. I'd like to reach out to you again in a few months.' "

????It may help to take the pressure off to realize that you'll have multiple mentors at different points in your career, perhaps some of them even simultaneously. One person may mentor you about your work-life balance, while another introduces you to important potential customers.

????"It's not just one mentor for life," Zachary says.