女性如何跨越“信心鴻溝”
????再有就是我們觀察周圍事物的方式。女性往往比男性注意到更多東西。在《女性視野:職場女性的真實權力》(The Female Vision: Women's Real Power at Work)一書中,莎莉?赫爾格森和朱莉?約翰遜注意到,女性具有“廣譜察覺”。我們可以察覺與會者對一個觀點的情緒反應,以此衡量她獲得的支持度。但這也意味著,女性更容易被一位并不認同自己觀點的人擊潰,而男性往往察覺不到、或者根本就不關心別人的看法。女性是取悅者,多面手。這可能是一個有損自信心的劣勢。 ????應對這兩種狀況的處方是,嘗試著凍結自己的皺眉紋,無視那個正在皺眉頭的家伙,全身心地專注于反應積極的人和你自身的目的。一項刊登在《哈佛商業評論》(Harvard Business Review)的研究發現,只有當女性不僅僅看重自身形象,而且還專注于自己的目的時,她們才有望提升自己的高管風范。 ????大膽發言,但要避免聲音尖利 ????女性擁有更加寬廣的音域,緊張時調門往往會變高。研究顯示,低音聽起來更加自信。畢竟,多年來被奉為楷模的領導者大多是男性。解決之道是,給自己錄音,練習自己正常音域的低音部分。英國前首相撒切爾夫人就曾經使用過這種方法,效果極佳,它對你也同樣奏效。 ????沉默不是金,不要說太多的客套話 ????每當開會的時候,女性往往欲言又止。就像我的培訓會上那位金融服務公司女雇員一樣,她們擔心自己還沒有掌握全部事實。最近,我指導了一位剛加入一家新公司的高管級女士。她承認,自己以前在高管會議一直默不作聲,因為她想等到掌握更多信息之后再直抒胸臆。這種狀況已經持續了兩個月。我認為她過于謹慎,謙虛過度。她畢竟在另一家大公司工作過多年,擁有豐富的相關經驗。我說,提醒他們注意這一點,伺機插話。最后,她做到了。 ????另一個問題是,一旦女性終于開口發言,她們就有可能絮絮叨叨地說太多的客套話——“我覺得,我知道在座諸位的意見比我的看法更有價值。”開門見山,當仁不讓。或者遵循《信心代碼》的結論:敢于冒更多的風險,不要那么在意你的看法能不能討好別人,是否盡善盡美。 ????但在這場艱苦的戰斗有可能讓女性高管失望連連之前,我建議我們重新思考上述挑戰: ????? 取悅者 ????? 完美主義者 ????? 廣譜警覺 ????? 小心謹慎,厭惡風險 ????? 謙虛 ????現在,所有這些傾向也有可能成為美國企業非常欠缺、但極具積極意義的品質。《女性視野》的作者認為,績效評估需要更多地接受并獎勵這些傳統的女性優點。總結一下,解決女性自信危機需要著眼于兩個方面:女性需要向前一步(lean in),企業需要重新修訂績效評估標準,需要更加珍視“半邊天”與生俱來的品質。要知道,這些品質恰恰是這個世界所亟需的東西。(財富中文網) ????本文作者瑪麗?西維羅是一位高管溝通教練,她的客戶包括全球大公司、非營利性組織和初創企業的領導者,著有《商務演講,重在溝通》一書。西維羅此前在紐約NBC電視臺擔任記者和主持人。 ????譯者:葉寒 |
????Then there's the way we look, the way we see. Women tend to take in more than men. In The Female Vision: Women's Real Power at Work, Sally Helgesen and Julie Johnson note that women possess "broad spectrum notice." We notice the emotional reactions to an idea around the conference table, allowing us to gauge support. But that also means women are more likely to get thrown off by the one person who isn't buying what they're selling vs. a man who doesn't see or care what that guy thinks. Women are pleasers and multi-taskers. This can be a disadvantage when it comes to confidence. ????The prescription in both of these cases is training yourself to freeze out your frown lines as well as the guy who is frowning and focus on positive people as well as your purpose. In a study featured in the Harvard Business Review, researchers found that executive presence can only be improved if women focused not just on their style but also on their purpose -- their reason for communicating. ????Speak up, but avoid up speak and squeak ????Women have a larger vocal range and when nervous tend to get high-pitched. Studies show people think lower voice tones sound more confident. After all, men have been the model for leaders for years. The fix here is recording yourself and practice using the lower range of what is normal for you. It worked for former U.K. Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher and can work for you too! ????Don't hold back too long or serve up too much ????Women tend to hold back at the table. Like the woman at my financial services seminar, they fear they don't have all the facts. Recently I worked with a C-suite woman new to a business. She admitted she hadn't spoken up at executive meetings because she wanted to wait until she had more information. It had been two months. I suggested that she was being too cautious, too modest. She had years of related experience in another large organization. Remind them, I said, and chime in. She did. ????Then, once women open up, they can be too wordy with too many qualifiers. "I think. I know there are a lot of people who have opinions more valuable than mine." Get out in the traffic and take the credit. Or in the conclusion of the Confidence Code: Take more risks and care less about pleasing and perfection ????But before women get too down about an uphill battle, I suggest we think again about the aforementioned challenges: ????? Pleasers ????? Perfectionists ????? Broad spectrum notice ????? Cautious/risk averse ????? Modest ????Now, all of these tendencies can also be huge positives in short supply in corporate America. In The Female Vision, authors say more performance evaluations need to embrace and reward these traditional female strengths. So the bottom line, there are two factors to solve the crisis in confidence: Women need to lean in, and businesses need to look into revising performance criteria that value qualities naturally possessed by half the world -- qualities the world needs now. ????Mary Civiello is an executive communications coach who works with leaders at some of the world's largest businesses and not-for-profit organizations, as well as high-profile startups. She is also author of Communication Counts: Business Presentations for Busy People. Previously, she was a reporter and anchor at NBC in New York. |