????親愛的安妮：我們過去的工作團隊非常融洽，但后來我們的老板換成了一個從另一公司挖來的經理，他總是想控制我們的每一個行動。他老是堅持詳細地告訴每個人該做什么、應當怎樣做（盡管我們多年來在自己的崗位做得都很好）。哪怕再小的細節也逃不脫他的仔細檢查，而且他還不斷頒發新的規則指南，有些規則自相矛盾。

????因此，有些同事就干脆采取消極進攻的方法，故意惹惱他，這就意味著，他對整個團隊施加的壓力更大。我可以舉幾個讓你毛骨悚然的例子，但重點是，目前的情況快把我們給逼瘋了。我們可以采取什么措施來改變他的行為嗎？又或者我們只能咬咬牙，堅持到下一位老板上任？——咬牙切齒（Gritting My Teeth）。

????親愛的GMT：呃，控制狂的老板。我們可能都曾遇到過這樣的老板。艾伯特?J.伯恩斯坦(Albert J.Bernstein)博士(www.albernstein.com)從事臨床心理學已有35年，最近出版了一本非常不錯的新書，名為《我是辦公室里唯一的正常人？——101個妙招攻克辦公室心理病》（Am I The Only Sane One Working Here?: 101 Solutions for Surviving Office Insanity）（麥克勞希爾出版社（McGraw-Hill），16.95美元）。他說：“控制欲過強的領導是讓員工造反的主要管理人類型之一。”

????向伯恩斯坦進行咨詢的客戶很大部分來自高管層，下屬員工要求他們撤換控制狂，這些高管完全不知該相信哪一方。所以他們把伯恩斯坦叫來幫忙想辦法。伯恩斯坦說：“即使是最差勁的微觀管理者通常也意識不到自己有點控制過度。他們還以為自己控制的程度剛剛好。”

????造成這種錯覺的原因是什么呢？伯恩斯坦說：“這是因為他們都非常害怕。他們害怕犯錯誤，也害怕其他人的錯誤會為自己帶來壞影響。所以，自覺或不自覺地，他們都這樣認為：如果我不能控制到每一件小事，就肯定會出什么亂子?！?/p>

????伯恩斯坦說，認知這種恐懼情緒是問題的關鍵。他建議你和你的同事們可以嘗試以下措施：

????1. 不要顯露出你的不快。伯恩斯坦說：“把某人叫做控制狂，或者他一靠近你就明顯地表現出惱火，只會讓他覺得他要對你更加小心提防。”

????而且決不要以為通過交流，就能把問題解決：“永遠不要以為可以通過談話交流，就能讓一位微觀管理者改變他的管理方式。即使是經驗豐富的心理治療專家，要想讓患有控制癖的人相信他們的行為可能會適得其反，帶來更多的麻煩，也會遇到問題?！?/p>

????Dear Annie:We used to have a great team here, until our boss was replaced by a manager brought in from another part of the company who is now trying to control our every move. He insists on telling everyone what to do and how to do it in minute detail (even though we've all been excelling at our jobs for years). No detail is too ridiculously tiny to escape his scrutiny, and he's constantly issuing new rules and guidelines, some of which contradict each other.

????As a result, some of us are just taking the passive-aggressive approach and ignoring him, which means he bears down harder on the whole group. I could give you examples that would curl your hair, but the point is, it's driving us nuts. Is there anything we can do to change his behavior, or do we just grin and bear it until the next boss comes along?-Gritting My Teeth

????Dear GMT:Ah, the control-freak boss. We've all had one, at one time or other. "Overly controlling managers are one of the main types who make employees rebel," says Albert J. Bernstein, Ph.D. (www.albernstein.com), a clinical psychologist for 35 years and author of a terrific new book called Am I The Only Sane One Working Here?: 101 Solutions for Surviving Office Insanity (McGraw-Hill, $16.95).

????A big chunk of Bernstein's consulting practice comes from senior managers, urged by teams like yours to get rid of a control freak, who just don't know whom to believe. So they call Bernstein in to sort out the situation. "Even the worst micromanagers usually don't realize they're overly controlling," he says. "They think they're just controlling enough."

????The cause of their delusion? "These are very frightened people. They are terrified of making a mistake, or of having someone else's mistake reflect badly on them," says Bernstein. "Consciously or not, how they view the world is, 'If I don't control every little thing, something terrible is going to happen.' "

????Recognizing that fear is the key to taming it, Bernstein says. He recommends that you and your colleagues try these steps:

????1. Don't let your annoyance show."Calling someone a control freak, or getting visibly irritated when he leans on you, will only make him think he needs to keep an even closer eye on you," Bernstein says.

????And don't even think about trying to discuss the problem: "Forget trying to talk a micromanager out of being one. Even seasoned therapists have trouble convincing the control-obsessed that their behavior might be causing more problems than it's solving."