????“你應該付錢給我。”經過這樣的交流，以后再蜻蜓點水地繼續提供建議，這樣就可以傳達出一個信息：偶爾麻煩你解決問題和經常讓你從事原本應該得到報酬的真正或有意義的工作，兩者之間是有區別的。

????最后，推薦其他可能對你朋友的事業有所幫助的人。這表明你并不想借此牟取暴利——你真誠地關心好友的核心利益。也許只是因為雙方正式的合作會覺得太尷尬，或者讓人感到不舒服，也許你單純只是因為沒有時間或者能力解決問題，跟錢沒有關系，又也許你并不是做這份工作的最好人選。無論是哪種情況，你都可能認識某個能夠幫上忙的人。

????你要努力不貶低自己的時間價值。盡管你很高興在適當的時候做出貢獻和分享建議，但是你并不愿意白白被別人利用。你有足夠的自尊和信心，合理地珍惜你的時間和精力，在你力所能及的時候提供幫助。但是不要覺得自己被迫年復一年地為艾德娜阿姨報稅，為約翰尼寫大學論文，或者免費提供法律意見。

????喬迪?格利克曼，溝通培訓和領導力開發公司 Great on the Job的創始人。她著有《職場秘訣：提高工作績效的溝通技巧》（Great on the Job: What to Say, How to Say It, The Secrets of Getting Ahead；圣馬丁出版社，2011年5月）。

????譯者：凌云

????Offering over-the-shoulder advice after the more formal "you-should-pay-me" route communicates that there's a difference between pinging you occasionally with questions and taxing you regularly with real or meaningful work that you should be compensated for.

????Lastly, go ahead and recommend others who might help your friend's cause. This demonstrates that you're not trying to profiteer here -- you genuinely have your buddy's best interest at heart. Perhaps working together formally is just too awkward or uncomfortable, perhaps you don't have the time or capacity no matter the financial arrangement, or perhaps you're really not the best person for the job. Whatever the case, you probably know someone who can help.

????You owe it to yourself to not undermine the value of your time. While you're happy to give and share advice when appropriate, you're not in the business of being taken for a ride. Have enough self-respect and confidence to value your time and energy appropriately and help out when you can. But don't feel forced to do Aunt Edna's taxes year after year, write Johnny college essays, or give legal advice for free.

????Jodi Glickman is the founder of communication training and leadership development firm Great on the Job. She is the author of Great on the Job: What to Say, How to Say It, The Secrets of Getting Ahead (St. Martin's Press, May 2011).