????你是不是每天從早忙到晚？你是不是沒有時間照顧家庭，享受興趣愛好？越來越多的職場和管理專家表示，這可不能怪東家，你得自己負責管好你的工作與生活的各項事務。這些聲音中，最引人關注的是Facebook首席運營官謝麗爾?桑德伯格在她的新書《向前一步》（Lean In）中的最新表述。

????畢竟，科技和經濟的全球化使得工作與家庭的界線變得越來越模糊，公司也不再承擔這樣的一個職責：告訴員工何時停下工作，優先處理哪些事情，以及如何設定個人空間界線等，《微調：一天一天實現夢想》（Tweak It: Make What Matters to You Happen Every Day）一書的作者、靈活工作咨詢師凱利?威廉姆斯?尤斯特表示。

????“我們都有完全不同的狀況、目標和優先事項，”尤斯特說。 “我們正在接近一個自然的臨界點，超過這個臨界點之后，公司除了提供工作的靈活性，妥善執行靈活性之外，再也無能為力。如今，我們需要利用靈活性。”

????當然，并不是每家公司都已培育出有效的靈活工作方式。而且，很多員工還在和守舊的老板進行斗爭。盡管靈活安排工作環境好處顯而易見，比如，它可以提高生產率、降低人員流失和提高工作滿意度等，但這些老板依然明確反對，甚至從中作梗。【這時，你或許會想起最近雅虎（Yahoo）CEO瑪麗莎?梅耶爾禁止遠程辦公的禁令。】

????在這種情況下，你有兩種選擇：要么遵從新的規則，要么換工作。不要像尤斯特調查的那75%的人一樣，他們認為，老板或雇主必須提供工作與生活之間的靈活性，而且他們還將工作壓力大和缺乏時間視為障礙。

????“無論你是否擁有支持性的工作環境，歸根結底，靈活工作那一套能不能夠行得通，責任還是得落在我們每個人肩上，”波士頓學院工作和家庭中心（Boston College Center for Work and Family）執行董事布拉德?哈林頓說。“不能再把責任推給老板了。假設你擁有具有市場競爭力的技能，而且你擁有堅定的信念，終有一天，你必須告訴自己，‘我得自己來改變這個現狀了。’”

????為了重建工作和生活的平衡，不妨根據你對職業和家庭生活的期望，從個人和職業角度對時間需求進行評估。尤斯特說，要結合個人和工作日程安排，全盤考慮。

????她建議，每周都劃出一些時間把你要完成的工作排入日程表，無論這是與愛人的晚間約會、是兩個小時專注的戰略性規劃，還是完成具體的工作項目。如果有些事情你找不到整塊時間來做，要么延后，要么分配給其他人。如果你發現有些事情需要改變原有的工作安排，請與你的家人和同事溝通協調。

????新澤西州麥迪遜現年38歲的社區工作學生安娜?布拉德肖表示，她一直使用谷歌（Google）日歷表功能，綜合安排自己的工作、家庭生活和丈夫的工作。“任何時候我都能立即同意某天晚上加班，或者回絕其他一些事情，因為我知道丈夫的日程安排，”有3個小孩（年齡分別為8歲、5歲和3歲）的布拉德肖表示。“我經常要管理相互沖突的優先事項和重要事情。”

????其中一些可歸為Facebook桑德伯格所謂的“擴大影響圈”，或者抓住前進機會，不會因為擔心新職責可能影響到家庭生活而遲疑。

????Working all hours? No time for family or hobbies? Stop blaming your employer and take responsibility for your own role in managing your work and life commitments, say a growing number of workplace and management experts -- most prominently Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg in her new book Lean In.

????After all, with technology and a global economy blurring the lines between the job and home, the corporation is no longer in a position to tell you when to stop working, which tasks to prioritize, or how to set personal boundaries, says Cali Williams Yost, flexible work consultant and author of Tweak It: Make What Matters to You Happen Every Day.

????"We all have a completely different set of circumstances and goals and priorities," Yost says. "We're reaching at a natural point where companies can't do much more than what they're doing: offering the flexibility and rolling it out well. Now we need to use it."

????To be sure, not every employer has developed a functional approach to flexible work. And plenty of workers are still struggling with out-of-date bosses who categorically oppose workplace flexibility or simply undermine it, despite the documented benefits such as higher productivity, lower turnover, and greater job satisfaction. (Yahoo (YHOO) CEO Marissa Mayer's recent ban on telecommuting may come to mind.)

????In that case, you have two choices: work within your current restrictions or change jobs. Don't be like the 75% of people who, according to Yost's research, believe that their boss or employer must provide work-life flexibility in order for it to be possible, citing increased workloads and lack of time as obstacles.

????"Whether you have a supportive workplace culture or you don't, at the end of the day the responsibility for making it work comes down to each of us," says Brad Harrington, executive director of the Boston College Center for Work and Family. "You can only blame your employer for so long. Assuming you have marketable skills and that you have the courage of your convictions, at some point you have to say, 'It comes down to me to fix the situation.'"

????To begin to restore work-life sanity, assess the demands on your time both personally and professionally, in the context of your aspirations for your career and home life. Make sure to capture a complete picture by combining your personal and work calendars, Yost says.

????Each week, she advises setting aside time to put on your calendar every task on your to-do list, whether that's a date night with your spouse, two hours of focused strategic planning, or a specific work project. If you can't find a block of time for certain items, you'll either have to put them off or delegate them to someone else. As you see commitments coming up that will require you to shift your work schedule, communicate with your family and colleagues to make it happen.

????Anna Bradshaw, 38, a social work student in Madison, N.J., maintains overlapping Google calendars for her work, family commitments, and her husband's job. "At any time I can agree to staying late at work one night or saying no to something else because I know what's going on with his calendar," says Bradshaw, who has three children aged 8, 5, and 3. "I am constantly managing competing priorities and concerns."

????Some of this comes down to what Facebook's (FB) Sandberg calls "leaning in," or seizing opportunities for advancement rather than being held back by fear of what the new responsibilities will mean for family life.