????西爾斯控股公司（Sears Holdings Co.）副采購經理、27歲的斯科特?納什說，每當自己的“工作配偶”安德麗娜?達維拉到他的辦公桌前，或者自己去她的辦公桌前時，“都像打了一針興奮劑一樣。”在為凱馬特（Kmart）采購杰奎琳?史密斯產品時，他對她的建議言聽計從，因為她可以實際試穿。就在最近，斯科特獲得升職，這得感謝達維拉協助他陳述業績；而讓斯科特更為感激的是，為了幫助他提升績效，達維拉之前還向他提出了自己的寶貴建議。

????納什最初是一名采購助理，之后不久他就在想，在與外部供貨商的會議上，他應不應該繼續一言不發。這些供貨商都希望西爾斯能采購他們的產品。對于采購的產品，他應該聽從上級，也就是采購經理的指示嗎？納什說：“我不確定自己什么時候應該坦率地說出自己的想法，還是等我的采購經理提出來。”

????于是，他去征求達維拉的建議，她鼓勵他和別人分享自己的想法。他聽從了她的意見，結果他的上司和其他團隊成員都注意到，他開始更多地表達自己的觀點。他們并對他的這種改變表示歡迎。之后兩人的關系愈加親密。去年八月，達維拉的室友搬走之后，納什便搬過來與達維拉同住。這種改變實際上減少了兩人在工作中的互動，因為兩人在家里的時間更多了。他們不再每天一起吃午飯，有些話則是在回到公寓的私密空間后再說。

警惕職場伴侶帶來困擾

????與工作配偶的關系太過親密可能引發各種問題，比如不恰當的性舉動，以及其他同事對于偏袒或錯位的忠誠等問題的擔憂等。納什是同性戀，這便減少了與達維拉迸發“愛情火花”的擔憂。但如果你與一名同事的關系太過密切，其他同事仍可能感覺不舒服——例如，其他同事可能擔心你會把與所有人的互動與工作配偶分享。

????卡什說：“工作配偶必須保持一定的界限。當這種關系開始擴展，變得更加私人時，便會變得非常危險。一個小時的快樂時光，很好。可連續四個小時的快樂時光就有問題了。”

????首先，你不希望自己真正的愛人感覺受到了威脅或不舒服。其次，你也不希望其他同事懷疑，你們兩人之間是不是有什么名堂，或者他們會擔心在一個項目或團隊中，如果你的工作配偶無法加入，可能也無法讓你參加。

????25歲的丹尼?考恩是舊金山一家公關公司的高級客戶主任。他意識到，同事們認為他與自己的工作配偶、同樣25歲的瑞貝卡?安德亞森相互之間有親密關系。考恩說：“人們認為我們是親密的伙伴，所以如果我們有一個人遇到棘手的事情”，同事們在與兩人中的另外一個討論這件事的時候，就會很不舒服。“很快就把我們兩個綁在一起。”

????到目前為止，考恩與安德亞森的關系還沒有造成任何誤會或不適，但他一直警惕發生這種情況的可能性。考恩是同性戀，所以關于性關系的擔憂有限。安德亞森也很感謝考恩在工作與個人問題中，能從男性的角度為她提供一些建議。她發現考恩比女性朋友更加直接。她說：“他的建議非常直率。”

????卡什鼓勵有工作配偶的人們不要局限在這種親密的關系中。雖然向工作配偶征求建議或尋找慰藉讓人感覺更舒服，但還是應該強迫自己也要與其他同事培養友誼。他說：“培養與工作配偶之外的其他同事之間的關系，這樣別人就不會認為你在工作中是誰的‘死黨’了。”（財富中文網）

????譯者：劉進龍/汪皓

????Sears Holdings Co. (SHLD) associate buyer Scott Nash, 27, says "it's like a little shot of energy" when his work wife Adrianna Davila stops by his desk, or when he visits her side of the floor. He relies on Davila's advice in his work on the Jaclyn Smith line for Kmart, since she could actually wear the clothes. And he credits her help in describing his accomplishments to support his recent promotion -- not to mention her previous suggestions that aided his performance in the first place.

????Soon after Nash started as an assistant buyer, he began to question whether he should keep sitting silently in meetings with external vendors who wanted Sears to carry their products. Should he defer to his superior, the buyer for the line? "I wasn't sure when I should speak up versus when my buyer should speak up," Nash says.

????He took the question to Davila, who encouraged him to share his ideas. After he followed her advice, his boss and other team members noticed that he was speaking up more, and expressed appreciation for the change. The two have become so close that when Davila's roommate moved out, Nash moved in this past August. The change has actually lessened their interaction at work, since they have more time together at home. They no longer have lunch every day and will save some conversations to have in the privacy of their apartment.

A few words of caution

????Getting too close with a work spouse can cause problems ranging from inappropriate sexual conduct to concerns from colleagues about favoritism or misplaced allegiance. Nash is gay, so there's less concern about romance blossoming with Davila. But if you become too closely aligned with a coworker, others in the office may still become uncomfortable -- for instance, coworkers may come to worry that you'll share all of your interactions with your work spouse.

????"There have to be boundaries," Karsh says. "What becomes dangerous is when these relationships begin to extend and become more personal. One happy hour is okay. Four happy hours in a row is not okay."

????For one, you don't want your actual romantic partners to feel threatened or uncomfortable. Second, you don't want colleagues wondering whether there's something going on, or worrying that they can't include you on a project or team without also including your work spouse.

????Danny Cowan, 25, a senior account executive for a public relations agency in San Francisco, realizes that he's perceived as interconnected with his work wife Rebecca Andreassen, also 25. "People recognize us as close buddies, so if either one of us is in a sticky situation," coworkers may become uncomfortable talking about it with either one of them, Cowan says. "It immediately links us."

????Thus far, Cowan and Andreassen's connection hasn't led to any miscommunications or discomfort, but it's a possibility he keeps in mind. Cowan is gay, so concern about a sexual relationship is limited. Andreassen appreciates having a male perspective on both work and personal problems, finding that Cowan is more direct than a female friend would be. "He's very blunt with his advice, which is nice," she says.

????Karsh encourages people who have work spouses to branch out from that one close relationship. While it may be more comfortable to always turn to your spouse for advice or companionship, force yourself to cultivate other coworker-friends. "Try to create and foster relationships with other people that don't include the work spouse so you're not perceived as joined at the hip," he says.