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趣味小測試:你的東家是最佳雇主嗎

趣味小測試:你的東家是最佳雇主嗎

Stanley Bing 2012年02月10日
你效力的公司是否能夠躋身最佳行列?答案有可能取決于你的職位。

????我們已經(jīng)竭盡全力找出能讓員工樂不思蜀的公司,但我們不可能把它們一網(wǎng)打盡。或許你所在的公司就是一個快樂之所!到底是不是,做做下面這個小測試就能找出答案。

早晨去上班時,我會……

????A. 自顧自地偷笑。

????B. 在車上玩填字游戲。

????C. 心情郁悶。

我上班時間穿著的工作服……

????A. 是我的榮譽勛章,我睡覺都不愿意脫下來。

????B. 只是制服而已。每家公司都有。將就穿吧。

????C. 讓我覺得自己像只馬戲團的猴子。

我的老板……

????A. 是個無比優(yōu)秀的偉大人物。愿上帝保佑她。

????B. 腦子很好使,酒量也不錯。

????C.甚至會用大棒子痛毆豎琴海豹寶寶。

你愿意要免費飲料還是補貼?

????A. 知道嗎,我們公司的廚房里全都是免費的食物和飲料。我連吃午餐都不用離開公司!我可以一直工作到下班!公司福利真是太好了!

????B. 我懷念以前的補貼計劃。它在2006年被取消了。但我理解公司的苦衷。

????C. 我自己買得起飲料,謝謝。

我對公司總體戰(zhàn)略目標的了解……

????A. 來自于我的上司在例會上向我所作的詳細介紹,他的上司則向他作了完整的介紹,以此類推。

????B. 這個問題超越了我的薪金等級范圍。

????C. 你是指除了賺錢以外還有什么嗎?

日常工作的時長……

????A.基本上由我自己決定,只要我把活兒干完就行。有時我甚至穿著睡袍在家工作!

????B. 9個半小時。早上8點半上班,下午6點下班,過去15年來一貫如此。

????C.擠占了全部空閑時間。起早貪黑,直到精疲力竭、頭暈腦脹,整天只想著必須要完成的工作。

你是否擔心飯碗不保?

????A. 我不怎么考慮這個問題。我知道,如果形勢不妙,公司會照顧我的。

????B. 當然,有時會這么想。但從另一方面看,被炒魷魚相當于獲得了自由!我不介意探索外面的世界。

????C. 一天到晚都在擔心。我的整個人生都和這份該死的工作綁在了一起。要是沒有這份工作,我甚至不知道自己是誰。

????FORTUNE -- We've done our best to identify corporations that are a pleasure to work for. But we couldn't possibly list them all. Maybe your company, too, is a party on a half shell! Take this quiz and find out.

When I go to work in the morning, I ...

????A. Smile a little secret smile to myself.

????B. Do a crossword puzzle on the train.

????C. Have a sphincter the size of a pinhead.

The clothing I am expected to wear to work ...

????A. Is a badge of honor. I wear it to sleep.

????B. Is a uniform. All institutions have them. Get over it.

????C. Makes me feel like a trained monkey.

My boss ...

????A. Is a titan of Excellence. God bless her.

????B. Is a smart guy and can hold a drink.

????C. Would club a baby harp seal.

Which would you rather have: free beverages or a pension?

????A. Did you know that we get an entire kitchen full of free food and drinks? I don't even leave the building for lunch! I just work straight through! What a perk!

????B. I miss my old pension plan, which was taken away in 2006, but I understand why the company did it.

????C. I can buy my own Gatorade, thanks.

My understanding of the overall strategic goals of the corporation ...

????A. Is fleshed out for me at regular meetings with my boss, who is fully briefed by his boss, and so on and so on and scooby dooby dooby.

????B. It's above my pay grade.

????C. Beyond making money, you mean?

The length of my average workday ...

????A. Is basically whatever I think it should be, as long as I get the job done. Some days I even work from home. In my bathrobe!

????B. Nine and a half hours. In at 8:30. Out at 6. For the past 15 years.

????C. Expands to fill all available space, blocking out the sun, until I exist in a formless, shapeless void filled with nothing but that which must be done.

Do you feel secure about your employment status?

????A. I don't really think about it too much. I know that if anything bad were to happen, the corporation would take care of me.

????B. Sure. Now and then. But in a way, getting fired would be a form of liberation I wouldn't mind exploring.

????C. Night and day. My entire persona is bound up with this screwy job. I don't even know who I am without it.

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