????當時，俱樂部的教練讓懷特科爾與軟件公司10Count的首席執行官羅伯?安比爾特交手。不久之后，他們就開始與俱樂部的其他成員一起出去喝酒。隨著交往的深入，大家自然而然會聊起懷特科爾的職業前途，因為他經常向這位經驗更豐富的老兄請教。另外，他們還經常討論共同感興趣的商業和技術話題。四年后，安比爾特的公司收購了懷特科爾成立的在線轉錄與通話錄音公司，并在10Count為懷特科爾提供了一個職位。

????肖恩?奧康納建議，在與朋友交往的過程中，一定要明確自己的需求和興趣所在，并坦誠地說明自己的目的。奧康納在紐約成立了一家職業咨詢與培訓公司Stratus Careers，并擔任公司CEO。他進一步介紹道，在與朋友交流的過程中，不要只說“我需要一份工作”，還要具體地告訴朋友，自己希望結識哪些崗位上的人，感興趣的雇主類型是什么。同時，還要做好功課，提前了解將要會面的人以及對方公司的情況。千萬不要浪費朋友的時間，也別讓朋友的聯系人一番好意付諸流水。

????奧康納說：“很難要求朋友在他的人際圈子里為你深挖關系。所以，如果想通過朋友發展自己的職業，一定要說出自己的真正預期。”

????奧康納的一位客戶曾請求自己的朋友幫忙安排會面，以便了解情況。但在面試過程中，她卻一味追問朋友給她介紹的這位聯系人，是否有職位空缺、或者是否知道其他公司有沒有職位空缺。他說：“最終，她不僅失去了一大幫朋友，也搞臭了自己在業內的信譽。人們感覺自己被她利用了，感覺她聲稱自己想要的與真正做的完全是兩碼事。最終，這件事又從那些高管們傳到了她朋友們的耳中，而這些高管對于朋友的職業發展非常重要。”

????為了避免自己陷入類似的窘境，奧康納經常會給自己的“關系”發郵件，詳細說明自己朋友的目的，以及他為何要推薦這位朋友。所有相關人員最好提前做好功課，以保證“關系”能真正幫到忙。作為中間人，應該簡單地把雙方的情況和各自的意圖告知當事雙方。

????如果朋友沒能幫忙，也不要介意。奧康納說：“即使人們說‘我沒有合適的機會’，也總好于把你推薦給不合適的人。”

????初次接觸之后，要向朋友匯報會面的效果以及求職的進展。應該像對待職業聯系人一樣，給朋友發一封短函或電子郵件，表達謝意。

????此外，不要只局限于自己的朋友圈子。現年40歲的廣播電臺記者丹尼爾?戈德斯坦就是一個例子。當時，他正在Roy Rogers餐廳排隊點餐，而他妻子則與鄰桌的一位女士閑聊了幾句。結果發現，這位女士正在招聘一位作家，而戈德斯坦的背景恰好合適。于是，經過幾次談話、一次面試和薪酬談判之后，他接受了這份工作。

????最后，他說：“我們永遠不知道機遇會在何時何地眷顧我們。所以，要擦亮眼睛，豎起耳朵，隨時準備將自己推銷出去，就算是在Roy Rogers餐廳排隊點餐時也不例外。”

????譯者：阿龍/汪皓

????The club's coach told Whitteker to spar with Rob Imbeault, the chief executive of software firm 10Count. Before long, they were going out for drinks with other boxers. As they got to know each other, they naturally discussed Whitteker's career -- as he sought advice from the older, experienced executive -- and their shared interest in business and technology. Four years later, Imbeault's firm ended up acquiring the online transcription and call recording company that Whitteker founded, and giving Whitteker a job at 10Count.

????When networking with friends, be specific about your needs and interests and straightforward about your intentions, advises Shawn O'Connor, founder and CEO of Stratus Careers, a career counseling and training firm based in New York. Rather than just saying "I need a job," let your friends know the job positions of individuals you want to meet, and the types of employers that interest you. Do your homework on the person and the firm. Don't waste your friend's time or the goodwill of your friend's contact.

????"It's hard for friends to dig deep into their networks," O'Connor says. "If you're going to use friends to try to develop your career, you really need to talk about what your expectations are."

????One of O'Connor's former clients asked her friends to help set up informational interviews, but in the meetings she pressed the contacts on whether they had any job openings or knew about any openings. "She lost a number of friends and soured her reputation in the industry as well," he says. "People really felt used, in the sense that she was saying she was looking for one thing and doing something totally different. It came back to her friends from these senior people who they need for their career development."

????To protect himself from this kind of scenario, O'Connor always emails a connection some details about what the friend is looking for and why he felt it would be a good fit. It's better for all involved to take the time up-front to ensure a connection would be helpful. The connector should tell the friend and the connection a bit about the person they're going to meet and their goals.

????If your friend can't help you network, don't take offense. "It's so much better for everyone involved to say, 'I don't have anyone to connect you with,' than to connect them to the wrong person,' " O'Connor says.

????After the connection has been made, follow-up with your friend about how the meeting went and how your job search is going. You should send a thank-you note or e-mail to a friend just as you would to a professional contact.

????And don't limit yourself to friends. Broadcast journalist Daniel Goldstein, 40, was waiting to buy food at Roy Rogers when his wife struck up a conversation with the woman seated at the next table. It turned out she was looking to hire a writer and Goldstein's background was a good fit. After a few conversations, an interview, and pay negotiation, he took the position.

????"You never know when, you never know where, and you always have to keep your ears and your eyes open. Be willing to sell yourself to anyone, anywhere, any time, even when you're standing in line at Roy Rogers," he concludes.