????戴維?巴克當(dāng)初準(zhǔn)備從酒店管理業(yè)跳槽到金融行業(yè)時，馬上想到了在美國坦帕市一家抵押借貸公司工作的朋友。在這位朋友的推薦下，他成功獲得了這家公司的金融分析師職位。

????但事情的結(jié)果卻并不如意。這份工作頂多只能算是比秘書工作好一點。巴克在這里并沒能像他朋友保證的那樣，有機(jī)會學(xué)習(xí)風(fēng)險管理與財務(wù)預(yù)測，而是每天復(fù)印文件、接電話，或者做會議記錄。他向朋友傾吐對工作的不滿時，這位老友試圖讓他感到內(nèi)疚的答復(fù)使他陷入了兩難境地。他說：“如果你辭職的話，會影響我在公司的信譽(yù)。因為是我讓你得到了這個職位。”

????但不久，巴克還是離開了這家公司。從此之后，兩人可謂老死不相往來。目前，45歲的巴克正在亞特蘭大從事金融服務(wù)行業(yè)，他說：“好在我有酒店管理背景，所以，我最終還是回到了這個行業(yè)。雖然這件事沒有給我造成經(jīng)濟(jì)上的困難，但卻使我失去了一個朋友，這才是令人沮喪的地方。”

????隨著我們的個人生活與工作日益重疊，為了避免巴克的不幸遭遇，我們需要進(jìn)行更好的溝通和更周全的考慮。其實，通過朋友找工作的風(fēng)險很高，因為我們不希望失去友情，也不希望失去工作機(jī)會。但是，我們非常容易放松警惕，或者常常誤以為朋友和我們想法一致。因此，對朋友開誠布公地提出自己的想法就顯得格外重要。如果通過朋友求職，就要把朋友當(dāng)作正式的工作聯(lián)系人，給予足夠的考慮，并且按照行業(yè)規(guī)范來做。

????職場策略師達(dá)雷爾?W?格尼將這種情況稱為“自由貿(mào)易交往協(xié)議”：雙方在協(xié)議中會明確討論介紹、推薦或其他情況的條件。格尼曾著有《打破常規(guī)求職法》（Never Apply for a Job Again: Break the Rules, Cut the Line, Beat the Rest）一書，他說，你可以這樣說：“我可以給你介紹。但能否充分利用這次機(jī)會，全在你自己。”或者，巴克的朋友可以這樣說：“我可以推薦你，但你要自己決定這份工作是否合適，否則最終可能使我的信譽(yù)受損。”

????回過頭來看，其實巴克當(dāng)時可以更仔細(xì)地咨詢招聘經(jīng)理，明確自己的工作職責(zé)，以及要過多久才可以更進(jìn)一步，獲得一個涉及抵押貸款方面的實質(zhì)性崗位。決定接受這份工作之前，他不應(yīng)該過于依賴朋友的承諾。

????那么，借助友情來提升個人職業(yè)生涯到底值不值得一試？可以說，馬特?懷特科爾就是這么做的。懷特科爾今年27歲，他的商業(yè)伙伴就是在拳擊俱樂部里認(rèn)識的。

????他說：“拳擊運動很受白領(lǐng)階層的喜愛。拳擊俱樂部里的公司高管和CEO多得出乎人們的意料。因為高管們熱衷于競爭，即便是在下班之后也不例外。”

????When David Bakke was looking to move from restaurant management into finance, he immediately thought to contact a friend who worked at a mortgage-lending firm in Tampa. Based on the friend's recommendation, Bakke was hired for a financial analyst position at the company.

????Then things turned sour. The job turned out to be little more than a secretary position. Instead of learning about risk management and financial forecasting as Bakke's friend had promised, he was making photocopies, answering phones, and taking notes in meetings. When his friend learned of Bakke's dissatisfaction, he tried to guilt trip him, saying, "If you quit, that's going to damage my reputation around here. I got you hired on the spot."

????Shortly thereafter, Bakke gave notice and left the firm. His friend hasn't spoken with him since. "Fortunately, with my restaurant management background, I was able to get back into the industry," says Bakke, 45, who now is working in financial services in Atlanta. "It wasn't like I suffered any financial hardships out of the situation, but I did lose the friendship, which is unfortunate."

????As our personal and work lives lap into each other, it heightens the need for better communication and forethought to avoid an uncomfortable situation like Bakke's. The stakes are higher, because you don't want to lose your friendship -- or your job. Since we're more likely to drop our guard or assume our friend has the same perspective we do, it's important to bring hidden assumptions into the open. Give as much thought to due diligence and professional etiquette with your friend as you would with any work contact.

????Career strategist Darrell W. Gurney calls it a "free trade networking agreement," in which you explicitly discuss the terms of an introduction, recommendation or other situation. You might say, "I'll make the introduction. I'll leave it to you to nurture and make the most of that connection," says Gurney, author of Never Apply for a Job Again: Break the Rules, Cut the Line, Beat the Rest. Or, in Bakke's case, his friend could have said, "I'll recommend you for the job. You need to determine that it's the right fit, or it could hurt my reputation."

????In retrospect, Bakke would have questioned the hiring manager more closely to learn exactly what duties he'd be responsible for, and how soon he could advance to a substantive position in mortgage finance. He wouldn't have relied on his friend's representations before taking the job.

????So is it worth it to try to use your friendships in your climb up the career ladder? Matt Whitteker wouldn't do it any other way. Whitteker, 27, met his business partner in the boxing ring.

????"There's a huge white-collar following in boxing clubs," he says. "You'd be surprised how many executives and CEOs go. The executives want that competition, even in their off hours."