????艾米?安德森最近和一位風險投資家約了一次會。她的一個朋友幫她安排了好幾場相親，這只是其中的一場。光看介紹，這人好像還真不賴：30多歲的年紀，風趣幽默，外表英俊，體格健壯。他們是在舊金山太平洋高地的哈利酒吧（Harry's Bar）見的面，這個用櫻桃木裝修的酒吧是體育愛好者喜歡去的地方。但當他們坐下開始聊天之后，這個夜晚的氣氛就變得不那么讓人愉快了。金發碧眼的美人兒安德森解釋說：“他東看看，西看看，一直在打量其他對象。”當安德森問他在干什么時，他笑道自己在尋找“BBD”——也就是更大、更好的生意，就這次約會而言，就是個更棒的女人?！斑@可把我嚇壞了。”

????這種令人發指的故事可能并不稀奇，但就安德森這個例子來說，卻有一些正面啟發。這位36歲的創業家創立了Linx Dating。這是一家位于門羅帕克的婚姻介紹所。成立十年來，她在技術公司高管、創業家、投資者和公關專家當中贏得了這么一個名聲：當代硅谷紅娘。她的750位“活躍”客戶——也就是最近兩年內注冊的個人用戶——包括來自各大科技公司的員工，比如蘋果（Apple）、Facebook、谷歌（Google）、亞馬遜（Amazon）、甲骨文（Oracle）、Salesforce。他們中間既有二十歲出頭的創業者，也有六十多歲的退休技術高管和投資人。他們有可能和目前并未積極尋找約會對象的250多個客戶配對，或者 和安德森數據庫里的19,000多人交友。數據庫里的人既有別人推薦來的，也有注冊了Linx Dating的通訊郵件或是參加交友會的用戶。她的活躍客戶中，至少有90個人現在建立了正式的情侶關系，其中38人結了婚（而且沒人離婚）。

????囊中羞澀的人可不是她的服務對象。一套基本服務可能就要價2,500美元，而定制的VIP服務起價就是5萬美元?；痉帐窃趦赡昀锝o你介紹人數不定的對象。VIP服務則增加了大量額外內容，包括如何購買行頭，以及社交禮儀課程。安德森說：“這些客戶什么都不缺——不管是教育背景還是工作經歷，他們都完美無缺——但說到社會資源就未必了，或者在某些情況下，他們也缺乏吸引心儀對象的社交禮儀?！?/p>

????比如有這么一位離了婚的VIP客戶。他二十出頭，是游戲公司的程序員，有嚴重的社交焦慮癥。安德森整整花了16個小時調教他。他們把他破破爛爛的牛仔褲和臭烘烘的運動鞋扔掉，給他買了一身全新的行頭，還給他搞了場模擬約會，幫他準備好談話要點，教他怎么保持眼神交流，甚至教他怎么得體地擁抱，而不是在人家背上生硬地拍一下。另外，因為他是騎車上班的，所以她還特地安排了一輛車去接他的約會對象。

????Linx在很多方面與Match.com和OkCupid.com等在線約會服務業巨頭形成了鮮明對比。在線約會改變了人們的求愛方式，行業總價值已達到12億美元。盡管在線交友已經成為情侶們互相認識的第二大方式，但安德森卻堅持認為，在很多情況下，像OkCupid這樣的公司采用的配對算法并不能真正解決問題。在線約會可能幫了一部分人，但卻也給另一些人造成了障礙。它助長了一種挑挑揀揀的風氣，弄得好像買東西一樣，好像更好的對象只需要點一下鼠標就能找到，或者就近在眼前似的。

????這種BBD心態正是安德森所厭惡的。她解釋道：“有時候當我和客戶在一起時，我不得不重新訓練他們。我必須告訴他們，讓腦子轉得慢一點兒。尤其是他們已經非常習慣于“候選對象無窮無盡，還會有更好的”那種心態。在這種心態驅使下，數量似乎勝過了質量。”要說清這個差別，也就是她的服務憑什么比在線服務要好，可能頗具挑戰性。不過安德森發現，來找她的客戶要么是已經因為在線遇人不淑而心灰意冷，要么就是成天加班加點的技術牛人，他們想要更直接的線下約會方式。

????Amy Andersen was on a date. It was one of several with a venture capitalist that a friend had set her up with. On paper, he seemed ideal: mid-30s, funny, good-looking, athletic. But as they saddled up at Harry's Bar, a cherrywood-lined sports haunt in San Francisco's Pacific Heights, the evening took a wrong turn. "He was looking around the room and surveying," she explains. When Andersen, a striking blonde, asked him what he was doing, he smiled and confessed he was scouting for the "BBD:" the bigger, better deal, or in this case, woman. "I was horrified."

????Such horror stories may be commonplace, but in Andersen's case, something positive came out of it. The 36-year-old entrepreneur founded Linx Dating, a Menlo Park-based matchmaking service. And in the decade since, she's fashioned a reputation among tech executives, entrepreneurs, investors, and publicists as a modern-day Silicon Valley yenta. Her 750 "active" clients -- individuals who have signed up just within the last two years -- include employees of companies such as Apple (AAPL), Facebook (FB), Google (GOOG), Amazon (AMZN), Oracle (ORCL), Salesforce (CRM) and run from early twenty-something entrepreneurs to retired tech execs and investors in their sixties. Those clients may be potentially paired up with the 250-plus clients who aren't actively seeking a date at the moment or the 19,000 additional people in Andersen's database, a mix of referrals and people who signed up for the company's newsletter or mixers. Of her active clients, at least 90 are in exclusive relationships, and 38 are now married. (None have divorced.)

????Her services aren't for the cash-strapped. A basic plan may cost $2,500, while a customized V.I.P. service starts at $50,000. The former nets an unspecified number of introductions over the next two years. The latter adds a slew of extras, including wardrobe shopping and long lessons in proper social etiquette. "They have the resources -- they have everything lined up in their life, academically and professionally speaking -- but not the social resources, or in some cases, the social graces to meet the right one," says Andersen.

????In the case of one V.I.P., a divorced twenty-something coder at a gaming company with extreme social anxiety, Andersen spent 16 hours coaching him. They tossed his ratty jeans and smelly sneakers and bought new outfits. She walked him through a mock-date scenario, prepped him with talking points, taught him how to maintain eye contact, even how to properly hug vs. a stiff slap on the back. And because he rides a bike to work, she arranged for a car service to pick up his date.

????In many ways, Linx is the antithesis of online dating services like Match.com and OkCupid, a $1.2 billion industry that has transformed the way people court. While online is now the second-most popular way couples meet, Andersen argues that in many situations, a matching algorithm, like the one OkCupid employs, doesn't cut it. Online may help some, but deter others, fostering a pick-and-choose shopping philosophy that someone better is a click away or just around the corner.

????It's this so-called BBD mentality that Andersen dislikes. "When I sometimes work with clients, I have to retrain them," she explains. "I have to tell them to slow down their thinking, especially when they've become very used to that high-volume, grass-is-always-greener sort of mentality where it's quantity over quality." Explaining that difference, how the advantages of her services trump online, can be challenging. But Andersen finds many of the clients who come to her have either become disillusioned by their online misadventures or, in the case of many tech types who work long hours, seek a more hands-on approach.