????抱歉，卡莉。

????全球最大的電腦廠商惠普（Hewlett-Packard）于美國東部時間上周四下午宣布，計劃分拆個人電腦業務，并斥資約100億美元收購總部位于英國的軟件公司Autonomy。受該消息刺激，惠普盤中曾有一瞬間突然上漲（漲幅一度高達8.3%），但很快急轉直下，追隨其他各股大做自由落體運動。當日收盤，惠普下跌近6%。

????分拆個人電腦業務并非驚人之舉，盡管這家公司不到十年前才通過與康柏電腦（Compaq Computer）的合并進入該市場。大多數人——很可能也包括閣下——從該交易公之于眾的第一天起就覺得它愚不可及，讓人想起那句老話“兩個醉鬼靠在一起互相支撐。”不過，當時擔任這家傳奇科技巨頭首席執行官（CEO）的卡莉?菲奧莉娜強硬地推進該交易，迫使股東接受——其中甚至包括公司創始人之子、怒氣沖天的沃爾特?休利特。

????2005年2月9日，惠普解雇了菲奧莉娜，理由是她未能實現當初推進并購時的承諾，該新聞發布后惠普股價大漲6.9%。看起來，靠投資惠普掙錢的好辦法是：等它做一件非常愚蠢的事情，給他們五年左右時間來扭轉方向，然后在預見到其最終聲明的前提下買入。（上一任CEO馬克?赫德和那位導致他卷鋪蓋走人的漂亮女公關之間的丑聞就更加不用提了。我們從來沒弄清那件事情的真相呢，不是嗎？）

????沒錯，菲奧莉娜六年前就離開了惠普，但這次的新聞才宣布她的任期真正結束。沒錯，她2010年競選加州參議員失敗，可她真的曾自以為有機會贏得競選嗎？從另一方面來說，她倒真是花了不少錢——為自己的愚蠢而自掏腰包拿出了550萬美元。（在科技界女強人中，eBay前掌門瑪格麗特?惠特曼為了競選加州州長而花了1.436億美元，比菲奧莉娜多得多，當然她也闊得多。）

????回到惠普和菲奧莉娜時代終結的話題上來。浪費數十億美元，裁撤幾萬員工，再加上主打產品轉型（拜喬布斯所賜，從PC轉向平板電腦），付出這么慘痛的代價之后，這個公司史上最愚蠢的決定之一終于得到了修正。不過，你得承認：她成功當上了惠普掌門人，然后又推行了大膽的措施，這至少讓惠普的股價走勢比戴爾和IBM要有趣得多。當然，這并不意味著該交易就不愚蠢了。

????或許早該有人提醒她：以往掌權的業績如此糟糕，竟然還去競選公職，豈不是注定會失敗嗎？加州迫切需要整肅財政，而她恰好是個立場強硬的共和黨人，盡管如此，她還是毫無希望。或許有人提醒過，只是她當成了耳旁風。為什么不呢？菲奧莉娜素有貪天之功為己有的習慣——她被任命為惠普CEO之前領導過朗訊（Lucent）銷售部門，盡管這段經歷贏來了贊譽，可在那個時代，只要配上公文包，帶上通訊術語字典，就連傻瓜也能每周賣出價值數百萬美元的設備。

????沃爾特?休利特曾經和菲奧莉娜斗得你死我活，如今他似乎笑到了最后。事實果真如此嗎？或許不然。如今的惠普已再次被IBM遠遠甩在身后，而在卡莉插足之前，有那么一陣子惠普頗有趕超藍色巨人之勢。

????多虧了卡莉，現在趕超IBM已經鏡花水月，這種希望比她當選參議員的可能性還要渺茫。

????Sorry, Carly.

????Hewlett-Packard, the world's biggest computer maker, announced that it's planning to spin off its personal computer business and will buy the UK-based software developer Autonomy for about $10 billion. The news allowed HP stock to fight a disastrous tape for a nanosecond (up 8.3% at one point) but the shares soon joined the rest of the known world in free-fall. They closed the day down almost 6%.

????It's not a surprising move, even for a company that doubled down on PCs less than a decade ago via its 2002 merger with Compaq Computer. Most people -- yours truly included -- thought the deal was idiotic from the very day it was announced, evoking that old chestnut, "two drunks leaning on each other to stay upright." But Carly Fiorina, then CEO of the storied technology company, rammed the deal down shareholders' throats -- shareholders that included a steaming mad Walter Hewlett, son of the company's founder.

????Fiorina got the boot from the company on February 9, 2005 for failing to deliver on the promise of the merger -- news of her ouster sent the stock soaring 6.9%. It seems the way to make money on HP (HPQ) is to wait for it to do something stupid, give them five years or so to be able to gracefully reverse course, and buy in anticipation of the eventual announcement. (Let's not even get into the whole scandal of Mark Hurd and the pretty PR woman that got him booted from HP. We've never really gotten to the bottom of that one, have we?)

????Sure, Fiorina left HP six years ago, but today's news is the real end of her tenure. Yes, she was a failed California senatorial candidate in 2010, but did she ever really seriously think she'd win? On the other hand, she certainly spent a lot -- $5.5 million of her own cash -- on her folly. (Among the ladies of technology, Meg Whitman blew far more money in the gubernatorial race -- $143.6 million -- but she is much wealthier than Fiorina.)

????Back to HP and the closing of the Fiorina era. Billions of dollars, tens of thousands of layoffs, and a computer paradigm shift later (from PC to tablet, courtesy of Apple's (AAPL) Steve Jobs), and one of the dumbest decisions in corporate memory is finally being unwound. You've got to give it to her, though: she got the top job and she made a bold move, which at least made watching the company more fun than checking the ticker tape on Dell (DELL) or IBM (IBM). But that still doesn't mean the deal wasn't dumb.

????Maybe someone should have told her that running for office on that kind of track record is destined to be a failed gambit, even if you are a hard-nosed Republican in a state needed a desperate dose of financial discipline. Maybe someone did, and she ignored them. And why not? Fiorina has a habit of getting credit for things beyond her control—her appointment to HP came after a stint in sales at Lucent, which, while praised, came during an era when any fool with a briefcase and a dictionary of telecommunications terms could have sold a few million bucks worth of gear every week.

????Is Walter Hewlett -- who fought tooth and nail with Fiorina -- having the last laugh? Maybe not. The HP of today is back to coughing on IBM's exhaust, after a brief pre-Carly moment when it looked like it might gain a step on Big Blue.

????Thanks to Carly, that notion is off the table. You'll see her elected Senator before that happens.